Heart's A Mess: Superheroes aren't made, they're broken
by Tear On The Fire
Summary: Antonia Stark and Pepper Potts, hate the way their lives have turned out, hate that they love each other but can't seem to come together, and hate that they've been doing the same crap for twenty years. But everything changes when Toni is kidnapped and brutalized.
1. A Life Of Oblivion, Desiring desires

**Summary: **Antonia Stark and Pepper Potts, hate the way their lives have turned out, hate that they love each other but can't seem to come together, and hate that they've been doing the same crap for twenty years. But everything changes when Toni is kidnapped and brutalized.

**Story context:** This piece mostly follows the movies' plot line with heavy influences from the marvel main universe. The major differences are that Toni was born female and is bisexual, Pepper's gay, Happy's a parental figure, Toni's parents were okay if somewhat absent, and I try really hard to make the science actually work. I'm a nerd, sorry.

This is, more or less, the first piece of fiction I've ever posted and I don't have a lot of experience, so constructive criticisms would be more than appreciated. I have somewhat of a language problem but I hope I've been able to compensate for that, if I haven't, please point out what I've done wrong. The piece is unfortunately unbeta'ed. Sorry.

**Explicit warning:** Because this is , any chapters which originally had erotic content in them, have been edited to meet FF's guidelines. If you wish to read the unedited chapters, please feel free to visit my AO3 account.

**Trigger warning:** Toni is violently sexually assaulted in Afghanistan. I do not graphically describe the assault but I describe everything leading up to it, her thoughts during, everything after it, flashbacks, and dealing with the PTSD. It might be triggering to some but I'll be putting markers at the beginning and end of the worst parts. My depiction will not be fetish/fantasy, will not be erotic, it's meant to be terrible but I believe it's important to show the very ugly terribleness of it. Again I'll give plenty of warning, it's not my intention to trigger anyone.

Thank you for reading.

Heart's A Mess: Superheroes aren't made, they're damaged  
Chapter 1: A Life Of Oblivion, Desiring desires

The crap dice fly from Antonia Stark's hand, bouncing and rolling as they travel down the table. Toni, as she'd rather be called, is an imposing woman, tall and beautiful, statuesque really, just like an Italian sculpture. Her hair is long and thick, as black as a storm covered night, and almost, but not quite, wild. Her eyes are the deepest and most vibrant blue, and textured with nearly black lines wondering throughout her irises. Most think she wears contacts to achieve this marvellous jigsaw but Toni would never be so vain. These, she thinks, are her best features. The rest of herself, she imagines as completely average; typically Italian. Or as Italian as the mixed bag that is her heritage can be. Being olive skinned, slightly ovaled faced, somewhat swollen cheeked, and thick lipped, is about the best descriptors she can come up with for the rest of herself.

But that's just her face, she sees her body as an entirely different story. In that regard, she's decidedly not average. Well maybe average, if one were to scale a person up or view her from a few penta-metres away. Up close however, imposing becomes intimidating. Her shoulders are wide, her torso is long, and her limbs are longer still. It gives her body an incredible base for muscles to cling to. And Toni is muscular. One may not notice how muscular, even in her nudity, thanks to the softening effects, that a genetic gift from her grandmother brings. In her grandmother, those genes blew her up like a marsh mellow man in a vacuum but for Toni they blanket her body in a softening layer of fat, giving back an air of femininity that would otherwise be lost to her high metabolism and almost obsessive need for physical activity. Those same genes are probably also responsible for her slightly larger than average breasts, although sometimes she doesn't consider those as so much of a gift but rather an annoyance, especially on the golf course. But as much she considers her hair and eyes the best features of her face, she considers her height, her best feature of all.

Standing one hundred and seventy five centimetres tall, she converts that to five foot nine inches for the mouth breathers who just stare blankly at the SI value, Toni is above the average in height. And that's without the artificial exaggeration of heels but she so loves wearing heels, just so she can tower over some people. It unnerves men in a delicious way, to have a woman at eye level, or worse, to have one towering above them but she doesn't wear stilettos, like most worthless ditsy women do. She often wonders if these women even know why stilettos where invented. Would they continue to where them, if they knew that the only purpose to those kinds of heels was to make a woman feel vulnerable, to throw their centre of balance off and make them feel the need for delicacy, or down right protection. No, Toni only wears block heels, something one could run in. She couldn't fathom why, any woman would want wear something that would limit them in any way or put them in a mind set of vulnerability, just for the approval or the attention of men. While Howard Stark did a great many things to negatively impact his little girl, he did not in any way instill in her the need for the approval of a man. Quite the opposite actually, he taught her that any man who believed that she should be seeking his approval or that she'd be a bitch for rejecting their chivalry, is not worth a god damned micro-second of her time.

She was sure that her father had wanted a boy and for all the same reasons that any father would prefer to have one but when he got a girl instead, he treated her exactly the same as if she was the little boy he truly wanted. He took her to board meetings, design labs, car shows, weapon demonstrations, schmoozie parties, golf courses, everywhere and anywhere that would prepare her for the eventual takeover of his company and more importantly, his legacy. He'd instilled in her the absolute knowledge, that if something needed to be done and was worth doing right, you'd better damn well do it yourself, because no one is going to be able to do it better than you. But being in those toxic environments and witnessing the way Maria, Toni's slightly unhinged but brilliant mother, was treated, taught her something that her father was powerless to completely absolve his little girl from. That not being born a man, was a terrible burden. It's a sad truth of society that continuously echoes throughout the decades, no matter how much progress people think is being made, that there is an inherent disadvantage with being a girl. And Toni knew this with as much certainty as her parents' ability to shelter her from it. It was in fact, their sheltering that made her complete certainty possible. She lived at once in a world of perfect equality, purchased for her by the respect and fear others had of her father but she also lived in a world where she was just any other girl, an object that some could manipulate and control or viewed as a weakness of her father's that others could exploit. She thought, however, that she could use her superior intellect to out manoeuvre these people. She was after all, the product of an uncontrolled genius mother and an obsessively tenacious engineer father but puberty is the cruel curse which affects us all.

Depending on her mood, she'll refer to her puberty as either; the weaponizing of her body, or the impeding of her consideration. Both description have their merit but whichever one she chooses to call it, it changed her life completely. Before it, if she wanted to be treated like a boy, all she needed to do was call herself Toni instead of Antonia and dress like her father instead of her mother. Emulating her dad meant that at age four, she could design a circuit board with a myriad of functions and be praised as a child prodigy. At six, she could build a new hyper efficient engine and be called a Wunderkind. But when at age fifteen, and graduating high school as class valedictorian, she could have only described her growing breasts, as achievement praise radon that made the dicks of the men who controlled giving out such praise, shrivel up and die. It got worse at age seventeen when she graduated summa cum laude in both her majors at MIT, because whereas before she was denied praise, by then her achievements were greeted with open hostility. It drove Toni proverbially insane, which she felt was much better than the actual, slight, insanity that her mother often displayed

The incidental punishment for being born a girl, only got worse with the death of her parents and the need to have the long trusted family friend, Obadiah Stane, takeover what should have been HER company. When they died, and the board of directors and shareholders blocked her out of the company, she decided to give up on most of the world. She let her then manageable, and justifiable, feelings of indignance and superiority, turn into narcissism and psychopathy. She drifted around the world, living off the income of her inherited fortune, patents, and royalty cheques, while feeding into her new self image of the careless jet setting playgirl, who's only concern was pleasure seeking adventure. But the slowly churning, lukewarm rage, which festered just under her psyche, wouldn't go away. It made her annoyed and intolerant of every man who looked at her or had the nerve to speak to her. She eventually made it one of her internal directives to make every man she met, feel the way they made women feel. She treated them as nothing more than replaceable toys, as things she could ridicule and abuse. And if they did the smallest thing to displease her, she'd dismiss them in the rudest possible way. Her treatment of women however, wasn't all that much better. She saw most women as being complacent with the behaviour of men and unwilling to defend one another against misogyny. As such, she'd grow equally intolerant of any behaviour she disliked but she wouldn't treat them as poorly as she would a man. She'd just no longer consider them worthy of being her sexual playmates. In truth, she hated her need for the company of women and would've much preferred to wallow in her misanthropy but she felt too hopelessly addicted them, to completely ignore them.

There's really only three people in the world who are speared her full misanthropy. The first and most important one is, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, the personal assistant that her father had hired for her when she entered MIT. Pepper had been the nickname they'd both settled on, mostly because the three year older girl had threatened to push Toni out of a widow at the more sexually based ones. She also hated the only other offered alternative of 'Pepper Faced', so Pepper was accepted as the lesser of all evils. Ms Potts, as Toni more often calls her to show her respect, was given a reasonable salary and an all expenses paid education to MIT, just to be Toni's personal assistant. Her only real responsibility was to try to keep Toni on a constructive path, while at the same time, trying to mitigate her more destructive tendencies. Mr Stark had stressed on more than one occasion, that geniuses like his daughter, need help to control and channel their creativity during periods of intense stimulation but more importantly, they desperately needed to be distracted from boredom, when they had nothing to occupy their minds or they'd end up self-destructing. When he'd compared Toni to the Sherlock Holmes character, Pepper thought that it was a bit much but that comparison proved to be more apt than any other, as she watched the youngest Stark work with her parents prior to the beginning of the school year. Pepper watched as lab assistants and PAs handle all three of the Stark family members, watched them bury themselves in projects and neglect their own well-being, and she watched them explode when the people they'd paid to pull them out of their intensity, did so. But most frightening to Pepper was how depressed, directionless, and self destructive, they all became when a project was finished and they were left with little to do.

Mrs Stark and Toni seemed especially sensitive to the inactivity. Left to their own minds, the Stark women were perfectly willing to tear themselves apart, obsessing over minuet details or brutally picking on one another, until they hated being around the other. Mrs Stark had a, 'friend', with whom she could drown herself with when the boredom became too unbearable but Toni couldn't learn to relax. Even a short ride standing in an elevator, had to be filled with adding through the Fibonacci sequence or reciting Pi but like her mother, Toni could be easily distracted with socialization. So Pepper took it upon herself to be something close to a girlfriend to the genius but Toni seemed genuinely afraid to move past a deep and monogamous friendship, into one that included sex, despite her being sexually active and having no particular preference toward any sexuality. The truth was, Toni didn't want to burden the freckly faced redhead with a relationship, with someone like her. She thought that Pepper deserved way better than Antonia Stark could ever give.

Lost so deeply in these thoughts, she barely registers the dice ricocheting off the table's wall, tumbling back toward her and coming to a stop, a decameter or so from the edge.

"Sixie from Dixie!" the stickman calls, shaking her from her brooding. "Cold Dice!"

She picks up the dice again, pretends to warm them between her hands, and stares into the lips of the raven haired, Angelina Jolie type woman, standing beside her. She's loosing and doesn't really care how much. Her life is utterly meaningless and empty, filled only with the designing of things that blow other things up. And liquor, she mustn't forget that her life is also filled with liquor. Some might also point out that she fills her life with meaningless sex but the women, and occasional men, are hardly worth noting as fillers. They're more like the substanceless whipping on her already meaningless desert of a life. She can't help but think this, as she compares the fluffy non-substance in front of her, to the beautiful and intelligent Pepper Potts. B-List Jolie's hair is obviously died, her lips look injected, her nose looks done. Actually Toni can't find a single thing about this woman that she founds particularly attractive, except, maybe, for the fact that it would make more than a few men jealous, annoyed, or angry that Toni Stark was going to take this woman to bed and they weren't. Other than the need to unburden herself of her sexual need, that was the only appealing thing to her and Toni was of course, planning to make a show of taking this woman home. With a well placed comment here and an off hand insinuation there, the ever parroting press could be counted upon to broadcast her snide remark on the lack of male acceptability in bed. She thinks of how Pepper is nothing like this C-lister. Pepper's hair is the colour of rich oxygen starved flame. Her eyes, like a brilliant plasma balls of ionized krypton. And her lips, the full and healthy set of a mature woman. Nothing like C-list's child's pout.

But Toni only has Ms Fake, so she holds her hand up to the woman's mouth, inviting her to blow on the dice before the throw. If she'd done the same thing to Pepper, her PA would've just stared at her blandly, like she'd asked the most ridiculous question in the world. Or maybe, she'd quote her the odds of winning. So when Toni begins to smile charmingly at Ms Fake, she's really smiling at the indulgent, impatient, slightly mocking smirk, she imagines would be on Pepper's lips. She throws the dice down the craps table without looking away from the green eyes in her mind. She doesn't care what the roll is, the more she looses the better, it's a good call back for some minor manipulation latter but the fantasy she's trying to create for herself is broken, when out of the corner of her eye, she spots the second person on the list who is speared her full misanthropy but who unfortunately, usually catches the brunt of the aftermath of it from others. She turns to make sure that, James 'Rhodey' Rhodes, sees her acknowledge his approach but then turns away sharply to show her irritation at being disturbed. She almost, almost, tells him to go away and let her play with Pepper by herself but thankfully she's not that delusional yet. Maybe in another few decades she'll be paying people to pretend they're someone she actually likes but for now, she tries to ground at least some of her mind in reality.

"Oh, no!" Toni gives him her best mock sympathy look, "Did they rope you into this?"

"Nobody roped me into anything!" Rhodey shakes his head, "But they told me that if I presented you with an award, you'd be honoured."

"Of course I'd be honoured," she pauses, "deeply honoured. And it's you, that's great. So when do we do it?"

He holds the earth on a pedestal shaped award, passively in front of them, "It's right here. Here you go."

As Toni takes the god awful tacky thing from his hands, she doesn't even want to try to not be irritated by his irate, "There it is. That was easy," she pauses as she holds it against her chest and makes butterfly eyes at him, "I'm so sorry hun'."

"Yeah, it's okay."

They turn away from one another, neither really wanting to play this long suffered game. They both would've just preferred it if Rhodey had walked up, called Toni a name, shoved the award at her, and stood there ruining each others time for about a minute or two. But her long ago lover, is too nice of a guy to do something like that. He'd absolutely tell her when she was acting like a bitch but would never, ever, call her one.

They'd met at MIT, during their first year there. She was trying to legitimize her genius, while he was trying to earn a degree in robotics. Almost immediately, Toni found herself enamoured with his soothing voice and somewhat shy manor and thought of him as kind of innocent, blind to the world and utterly idealistic. When she decided that she wanted him, Rhodey didn't have a shred of defence against her single minded determination. She had him in bed within a week of their first meeting, despite his unease at her being under age. And for the most part, Toni ran the relationship and at first, both were happy with that arrangement. She'd been his first real girlfriend and only his second sexual partner and he really didn't know how to function as a boyfriend, lover, fuck buddy, or whatever they were to one another, because that was never really clearly defined. They got along well and other than Toni's seduction of him, she never made him to do anything that he was truly uncomfortable with. She was great at balancing their workload, managing their money, and finding time for socializing. She helped him with his studies and projects, and she always managed to make the perfect amount of room for intimacy. Later she'd made a joke at his expense, about him not realizing that anything more than a little intimacy, was always the perfect amount.

It couldn't have lasted, Toni's mind just didn't work like everyone else's. At first, University and her side projects were just enough of a distraction, for her to devote a lot of her thought processes to Rhodey, without becoming overly bored or succumbing to obsession. That is, until the first really challenging thing came along to stimulate her. She can't even really remember what that thing was, but she can clearly recall, how quickly she began to neglect him. Making things worse, was that he lacked the proper mental tools and deposition to demand more attention from her. Pepper had tried to warn him and attempted to get them to pay better attention to one another, which she pointed out to him, was what she was being paid to do, but Rhodey thought that it was best and most gentlemanly, to leave Toni alone until she was done with whatever she had to do. And with Pepper's support, he weathered Toni's first upswing and she managed to restrain the obsession inducing downswing but on the third cycle of ups and downs, Toni need to medicate herself, to keep herself from abandoning him for something or someone more engaging. By the tenth cycle, Rhodey resented being dumped for some inane 'thing', only to then be clung to when that thing lost her interest. At the same time, Toni's self medicating became out of control and she started acting neurotic and misanthropic. She decided to design a weapon which would epitomize the old adage that, 'a wounded solider slowed down an army, more than dead one'. She called it, 'friction seeking shrapnel', that once lodged the body, would slowly be drawn toward movement until it punctured a major organ, such as the heart or lungs.

Hearing of this disturbed Pepper and she thought that she had no other choice but to call Mrs Stark and ask her to intervene. As soon as Mrs Stark arrived at the University, she set about fixing the small disaster that they had made of their lives and she made it clear that she didn't blame James for what had happened. She even made, 'the poor boy', feel comforted by the prospect of being, 'simple', in comparison to Antonia and Virginia but the aged Stark matriarch had very little sympathy for the two girls. She repeatedly lectured and scolded them, both as a pair and separately, and for so long, that neither were exactly sure if it had spanned more than a day, or more than a week. She let them both know how truly disappointed she was in them and how disappointed she was with Pepper's performance. Mrs Stark made excellent work of guilting the two of them and at making them feel foolish. For their punishment, and to assure something of that nature never happen again, she assigned Harold 'Happy' Hogan, as their driver and body guard. Effectively ending whatever teenaged fun they thought they were going to have.

Happy was the last person on Toni's misanthropy free list and the only person to never receive some kind of pressure from her. She respected him, even loved him, in a detached sort of way. He'd been the family's chauffeur and bodyguard since before she could remember. He'd changed her diapers, fed her while making aeroplane noises, cleaned her hands when they got icky, drove her to school every day, taught her how to fight bullies, healed her owies, and let her drink out of his boos filled glasses. And a million other things that made him far more stable than her own parents. Her mom and dad were just that, her mother and father but Happy was like her favourite uncle. He was kind and caring and never outright scolded her but his lopsided smirk, either turned up with tolerant amusement or down with quiet disappointment, combined with a slight shake of his head, did more to shape Toni's personality then her parents' lectures or punishments. And until she was nine years old, she assumed that his daughter, Bethany, was her older sister but one that could only came on alternate weekends. The three of them would go to picnics, have tea parties (with real tea, because pretend tea was just stupid), swim at the beach, fixed cars, went to races, and a million other things that made them family. And when Bethany wasn't there, Happy would do other things with Toni. Like talk about the mysteries and inconsistencies of girls, why life was so unfair, and why the government was so incompetent that they couldn't tie their own shoes and why that was a good thing. Most of the time however, Happy did little more than sit on whatever couch she owned, watching whatever sport was on TV. Sometimes, she'd even sit with him, while working on a laptop or tablet and pretend to be as jubilant as he was when whatever team he was rooting for scored, or goaled, or whatever it was called. She devoted part of her brain to memorizing rules and rosters. Something she'd never normally think about, thinking about, considering. But for Happy, it was a minor sacrifice of mind power that made him slightly more happy.

Toni had hated her mother's handling of the whole affair (despite getting Happy back in her life), hated whatever she had said to Rhodey that made him immediately forgive her, and hated that whatever it was, it made him continue to easily forgive her still. But he did have few buttons that she could jab and she slowly began to beam at him, as the thought of one of those buttons entered her mind. She'd never thought of whatever they'd been to one another as, 'lovers', she'd thought of him more as, her statutory boyfriend. To Toni, this was a term of endearment but one that she knew better than to share with any other person besides Rhodey. It would hurt him greatly to know that others might hear this and think badly of him but she would remind him of this endearment, to irritate the hell out of him and at sees the very familiar, beaming, lopsided smirk, spread across her lips, he knows that she's thinking it, or at least of something very similar, and that thought, transforms his already irritated scowl, into a soured grimace.

"Don't even start with me Toni," he warns.

"Rhodey," she says his name sweetly, mania filling her eyes, "my dear. Whatever are you talking about."

"Just stop. Okay."

"Come on Rhodes," Toni looks over at, what is she at now, D-list, and smiles salaciously. "We can have a foursome. I'll take the Angelina Jolie look alike and you can have the equally lovely," she turns to smile at the red head who has also been hanging around, "lady in red."

"No."

"Alright then. You entertain miss Jolie." She looks back, hiding her disgust at the woman and her easily inflated ego, "I can assure you miss Jolie, he's quiet good in bed. I broke'm in myself."

"All you had to do, was tell me that you didn't want the damn thing and have Stane accept it right away, instead of letting me stand there with egg on my face."

"Ya I know," Toni stares unfocused off to one side.

Rhodey fumes at her for a few more moments, "I'm leaving." He takes a step to go but quickly spins back to invade her space, "Tomorrow. Don't be late."

"Yep, you can count on me."

"I'm serious Toni!"

She watches him walk away and feels equally pleased and guilty for upsetting him. It's hard not to give into her desire to take digs at him, they've known each other for so long and so well that it's just so easy and so satisfying to pick on him. It's not that she blames him for the failure of their relationship, she knows that it's death was her entirely her fault, it's just that she trusts him and she needed a release from her frustrations over the woman she was thinking about taking to bed, turning into a Not-Pepper. She knew he'd just shrug it off and chalk it up to Toni being difficult but the moment he began walking away, the rush of endorphins gave way to feelings of isolation and the fear of losing the few people who could tolerate her. Her emotional state seemed to be getting worse every day, the things that had given her a few minutes of joy, were now lasting seconds and the sexual attractions she felt toward people, were getting less intense. She can feel the world she'd lived in her entire life, dissolve slowly around her and she can't think of a way to stop it. As he's swallowed up by the crowd, she decides that on the plane trip to Afghanistan, she's going to get him very drunk and very laid.

With an apology gift decided upon and the Not-Pepper dismissed from her mind, Toni absently hands her the award saying, "here you are gorgeous."

Happy falls into step behind her as they leave, he's her ever present rock. The only person who asks nothing of her, except of course a TV, good boos, and permission to troll the girls stunned in her wake but those things seem so minor compared to his ever present loyalty and pleasant demeanour. He's never stolen or embezzled from her, never tries to manipulate her, or judge her. Hell, if he asked, she'd buy him a beckon-call girl, as a thank you for never giving her a single headache. But he never asks.

There was a time when she was a child, when Happy would be left to sit outside of a restaurant or playhouse alone, waiting for her and her parents to decide to leave. It bothered her that he was treated that way and soon began to demand that the waiters or hosts bring menus out to the car for him to order from and to check on him every so often. When he became her personal driver, she got him a table nearby but it quickly turned into a seat at the table with her. He's been to every over priced restaurant in the world, slept in the best hotel rooms, and meandered at the snobbist parties and the only bill he's ever run up, is a bar bill. Hell, even Pepper's needed litigation. And sometimes, like tonight, she wishes she could just take his hand for support but the media would take the small familiarity and make it into something terrible.

"Ms Stark!" a woman's voice calls after Toni as soon as they reach the car, "excuse me, Ms Stark!"

Happy turns to make an assessment of the woman and leans closer to whisper, "she's cute."

"Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair magazine," the woman continues as she ties to push her way past the security. "Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"You think she's alright?" Toni whispers back.

"An eight maybe."

"Why don't you give her a try bud."

He smiles at her, "out of my league boss-lady."

"Leagues are for bowling," she smiles back at Happy, making him grin. After a moment, she turns to address the reporter, "Hi."

"Hi," the woman replies.

Toni waits a few moments for her to ask a question but then shrugged, "well if you have no more questions."

Christine pushes forward, "You've been called the da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?"

"I say, utterly ridiculous. I don't even paint my nails."

The reporter isn't fazed by Toni's attempted cuteness, "and what do you say to your other nicknames," she pauses a moment, "like 'The Merchant of Death'?"

"That's not bad Ms Vanity Fair," Toni pauses a breath, to collect her thoughts. "Maybe it's an apt title. But we live in an imperfect world, filled with imperfect beings, bent on committing horrible acts of violence toward one another. But," she raises her hand to punctuate her thought, "if you can convince them to stop and step into a suicide booth. I guarantee you, I'll start make'n soylent green."

The report blinks for a few moments, "did it take your PR people long to write that one up?"

"Naw, wrote it myself," the smile tugging at Toni's lips is a genuine one, "thought of it one night while getting ready for bed."

"I see."

"Well, you could see first hand if you like?"

"I'd like a straight answer."

Toni purses her lips, "You're pretty fun Ms Vanity Fair," then mulls over her new plan B in her head for a moment. "I'll tell you what. I just left my dates for the evening, so how about you and I fly back to my place, where we can discus this over some milk and cookies?"

"Is that supposed to sound like a proposition Ms Stark."

Toni thinks that Pepper isn't going to think very much of her if she brings the reporter home then makes her throw the woman out on the morning of her birthday but if Pepper does think it a complete bitch thing to do, it might put a little more distance between them. And Toni feels in desperate need of distance. Every day was becoming increasingly harder for her to live with herself, every day was becoming harder to live both with and without Pepper Pots.

"To hell with cookies then," Toni's whole demeanour shifts as she gives into the idea of going to bed with this attractive and obviously intelligent woman, "how about we fuck like bonobos and I answer any question you ask."

Christine crosses her arms, "Will the answers come before or after the monkey thing?"

Everyone within earshot is shamelessly staring at them but neither really cares, both are having fun with this little game and Toni is almost completely sure that Ms Vanity Fair is serious.

"Scattered throughout," she answers.

Christine pauses to think about it for a moment. Antonia Stark is an attractive and striking woman, rich and well kept, and if the rumours were to be believed, very good in bed. And she would definitely get way more than the story she'd originally been after. It then occurres to her, that Stark is letting the moment stretch on for longer than most others would. The dark woman's calm and peaceful demeanour, as well as her sexual self-assurance, doesn't waver in the lest as she stares into her eyes. It's incredibly intoxicating and overwhelming and Christine finds herself looking shyly away from Toni's deep blue eyes. The other woman has won their little game and insanely she thinks, that maybe, she's even won her heart for a few hours. Christine knows that it's a ridiculous thought to have but she has it anyway.

After a few more beats, Toni lifts her hand, offering it to the other woman, and asks in a way that makes her feel as if they've known each other for a lifetime, "coming mia bella?"

Happy, the security, and the lookers on, are all frozen out of the world created around the two women and it feels completely natural to Christine to take the offered hand and let herself be carefully guided into the back seat of the Lincoln. She feels a tingle of energy as Toni quietly closes the door and practically flows around the car to take her own seat on the other side. For Christine the moment was somehow perfectly, absurdly out of context and utterly drowning in Toni's energy. For Toni however, it was just another piece of her soul, evaporating away so that she could pretend to feel somewhere close to normal. At least for a little while.


	2. Oily Boredom, Everything's Slipping Away

**Summary:** On Pepper's birthday, she can't help but reflect on her and Toni's life together but what's she supposed to do, when every time she thinks about it, she's brought to a boiling rage.

Heart's A Mess: Superheroes aren't made, they're damaged  
Chapter 2: Oily Boredom, Everything's Slipping Away

Toni Stark's Malibu Mansion sits atop its perch of a cliff, buffeted by the sounds of the relentless surf below and bathed in the soft light of early morning. It's the picture of peace and tranquillity but the soothing waves and soft shadows are pierced by the harsh growl and sleek lines of a gunmetal black AMG. It slows with low roars of protest before sweeping into the driveway of the mansion. It curves through the roundabout and glides to a stop under the overhang of the small car park. It's the kind of elegant, powerful vehicle one might come to expect Toni to own but when the door opens, a jet black, high-heeled pump hits the ground. The click it makes as it connects with the concrete pad, is unnatural loud, almost as if it were fitted with taps. The owner of this unruly shoe, is Pepper Potts, a diminutive redhead, who is in no way as an imposing a woman as her boss but somehow, Pepper manages to make herself look far more intimidating. The look she projects is of importance to her and she takes great care in crafting her image. The shoe assaulting the grey-white surface, along with her matching jet black, double-breasted skirt suit, and pair of translucent black stockings, are among the centrepiece of her image but the severity of her look is mostly achieved by the tight chignon in her hair and the exposed length of her neck. Her cloths, style, and ever present glare, give her the aura of a dark queen of hearts, of a regal but dangerous monarch who's ready to lob off a few heads.

Shifting out of the driver seat, she brings the other shoe down with an equally skin crawling clack. Without the heels, she's a foot shorter than Toni as well as much less built. In actuality, she's a fairly slight woman, her thinness grants her the allusion of height but her personality is what enables her to seem larger than life. Her confidence, menacing scowl, and no nonsense attitude, leave others feeling slightly self-conscience in her wake and it only helps that Pepper is naturally beautiful. Her porcelain skin, light head to toe freckles, copper hair, sharp classical face, pert and perfect breast, and her green piercing eyes, make those who begin as self-conscience, feel completely inadequate. She's the typical gorgeous Irish ginger, from the tip of each hair on her head, to tip of each toe on her foot but being fair skinned and freckled, makes her an easy target for lazy insults and Toni's ever hounding paparazzi, are some of the cruelest of the lazy. Their scrutinizing of her every move and their opportunistic photography, sometimes drives her to insanity. They call her names like bulimic, anorexic, fire crotch, Toni's ginger attack dog, soulless, Pepper Tenorman (whatever the hell that means), and they accuse her of everything from sleeping with Toni's leftovers, to poisoning her food with grindings of her hair. Toni calls them vultures, Pepper calls them bottom feeding low-life scum. They're particularly cruel on their birthdays and this year, for her's, some greedy little pig played with the red value on a not so flattering photo, making her look like a bad Pollock painting and stuck a caption reading, 'Ginger Potts Ageing Ginger Spots', under it. The bastard's article went on to catalogue how her looks were failing in her thirty-seventh year. That kind of tabloid trash, never bothers Toni but Pepper can't ignore them, she can't even stop herself from reading them. It's self torture, she knows and she knows it's probably a sign of some horrible self image issue but she just can't stand not knowing what disgusting things they say about her.

The house's side door opens automatically as she approaches. "Good morning Ms Potts," JARVIS greets her in his usual way.

"Good morning JARVIS," she grumbles back as she clicks her heels and toes into the tile as hard as she can.

"Ms Stark wished me to inform you that, a Christine Everhart from Vanity Fair Magazine is in the 3rd guest bedroom and asks that you please see her out at seven AM."

"Great," she flicks her hand in the air, then slaps it to her thigh. She's not pleased, ONS removal on her birthday, is Toni seriously that inconsiderate. She stops at the kitchen counter, a stack of papers catching her eye, "JARVIS, did Toni not sign these transfer forms?"

Even though the answer is self evident, the AI answers politely, "I do not believe so Ms Potts."

Pepper's anger is slowly inching it's way up to intolerable levels. She scoops the documents up, intending to steal herself away to the comforts of the office but before she can, JARVIS interrupts her.

"There is a carrot cake muffin in the pastry box on the counter, I believe you may enjoy it."

She groans, her mood is quickly deteriorating. Why did her friend have to be so inconsiderate, why did she have to be so irresponsible, and why did Pepper have to care about her so much. It's driving her crazy, it's driving her to the brink of resignation. The only two things stopping her from resigning, is that one, she's sure Toni would lose everything without her and two, she makes way more than even most CEOs. There's no way she'll find that kind of salary elsewhere. But she pushes those thoughts to the back of her mind and flips the lid open on a nondescript bakery box. Carrot cake is her favourite and hopefully, indulging in some will improve her mood. Inside the box, she finds a single large cupcake and it smells delicious. She also sees that the little treat is generously topped with what looks like sweet cream cheese frosting and it has little teardrops of yellow frosting rimming the outside, with a bigger dollop of yellow in the centre. Pepper can't help but smile as she picks the cup cake up. Under each of those little flips of icing, the wrapper is decorated with barber polled lines, making it look kinda like a carousel. She can't resist the urge to lick one of the little 'lights' off, along with a generous swipe of frosting. Instantly she's rewarded with a burst of deliciousness. Mixed into the flavour of the mildly sweet and bold cream cheese, she can just barely taste pumpkin spice. Quickly she takes a bite of the cake itself and is again rewarded as hints of ginger and cinnamon mixed with a very light smokey scent, hit her senses. She sinks into herself. The mild sweetness, twinged with spice and carrot flavour, takeover her pallet. It's one of the most spectacular things she's ever tasted.

"Your coffee is also ready Ms Potts."

Pepper's mildly put off by JARVIS' interruption of her culinary orgasm but coffee would be a wonderful topper to the flavour overload she's experiencing. She takes a sips and is drawn fully back into the delights of great food. The hot and wonderful drink is almost chocolatey, very slightly nutty, nice and creamy, and smooth, with just a hit of bitterness. To simply call it coffee, would be a sin of spectacular proportions.

Drowning in the moment's delights, Pepper sucks every touch of her treat from her lip and whispers softly to herself, "best accidental birthday cake ever." She feels so happy, that she almost forgives Toni's forgetful disregard.

JARVIS replies a few moments later, "I'm sorry Ms Potts, I don't believe I understand."

"Don't worry about it JARVIS," she dismisses the question with a wave her hand.

"Very well Ms Potts. Would you like me to order your usual breakfast."

"Hmm," she hums with blissful delight, mouth full of coffee and accidental birthday cake. "Please," her smile is serene.

She practically drifts into the house's office, the misery of the day all but forgotten, at least for the moment. While sipping her coffee, she flips through the mail. Most of it is the usual nonsense but there's a scratch and win ticket mixed into the mess.

"JARVIS," Pepper asks, "where'd this come from."

It's a moment before he answers, "I believe Ms Stark brought it home with her from Las Vegas ma'am. Perhaps you should determine if it a winner before recycling it."

She shrugs at the suggestion and uses a letter opener to scrape off the panels. "Hmm, it is a winner," she flips the card over to see what she's won, "a car. None of us need a new car." She grips the ticket to rip it in half and snorts, "especially not Toni."

"Perhaps your sister," JARVIS quickly suggests.

Pepper thinks for a moment while staring at the tinny tear she's made. She never really got along with her older sister Elisabeth, not even when they were young. Liz was a constant bully when they were small, as teens she was mean and critical, and then when they were adults and Pepper had been working for Toni for a number of years, Liz thought she should support her and her daughter. Now, every conversation that the redhead has with her sister, ends in a fight, with Liz throwing whatever garbage was in the tabloids at her. Her sister is the kind of woman Pepper really dislikes, the kind that thought that just because she was attractive, everything should be handed to her. Through Liz's eyes, Pepper was living an easy life, the life Liz thought she wanted for herself but being Antonia Stark's PA is anything but easy. She has two secretaries herself, just to keep up with the day to day nonsense of Stark Industries. Not to mention the Stark wrangling, which takes the full-time work of two. But Liz has a daughter, Sage and a new car would be more than a little help to them both and it would difficult for her sister to blow a car on jewellery and clothing. Although Pepper could give the ticket to her parents and know that it'd go to good use but Toni bought them both cars a few years ago. It was tempting to just rip the ticket up, knowing Liz, she'd sell the thing to buy something useless and frivolous but Pepper caves to her own guilting and slips the ticket into her satchel to give to her sister later. It's sad really, Stark had given Elisabeth a cushy job at one of the SI factories but she did so little work and caused so much disruption, that Toni had to fire her. It actually made her normally unaffected friend, feel bad but Pepper told her, that in her opinion, Liz had deserved it and if it had been up to her, she would *not* have gotten a severance package.

While waiting for her breakfast to arrive, Pepper leafs through paperwork and finishes off her cupcake. Most delivery guys in the area, are used to the door opening by itself and being greeted by a disembodied voice. JARVIS handles all the tips and payments over the phone and when the delivery arrives, tells them which room to bring the food to. So when the guy arrives with her order, all she has to do, is say thank you. Most days are like this and it's probably been ten years since she'd eaten a meal at home. Toni is very high maintenance and being on time for work or leaving on time to go home usually means staring at six in the morning and not leaving until six at night. That doesn't leave her much time to make food for herself but it's not a big deal, Stark pays for her meals and compensates her well for her long hours but today, and in only a half hour, she has to throw a reporter out of the house and if Toni had just add this to the schedule last night, she wouldn't have minded so much but like usual, her inconsiderate friend just dumped this extra job in her lap at the last minute. And really, what the hell is Toni doing sleeping with a reporter anyway, didn't she learn her lesson the last time, when the bastard tried to take photos of the inside of the house. For a genius, the woman can be so stupid sometimes.

Pepper really only has one birthday wish this year, she wishes Antonia Stark would get a hold of herself and grow up. It's maddening and it's driving her to literally pull her hair and hang herself by a fist full of it. She can feel things coming to a head. Lately Toni's been getting increasingly distant, drinking more, jet-setting off to god knows where more often, and the self described genius inventor, hasn't been inventing lately. It makes her want to cry, it makes her want to put her head down and just sleep. Pepper would kill for another cupcake and ten minutes of not feeling aggravated by her friend. The frustration and anger is mounting, she needs a vacation, she needs to get away from Toni. Screw Stark and her codependency, Pepper has the right to her own life, she has the right to be with someone who'll be with her right back. It's not that she minds most of what Toni asks of her, she likes caring for the erratic genius, likes witnessing her bouts of brilliance, loves running Stark Industries but she needs recognition and consideration from her so called friend. She wants real apologies, real remorse, not endless gifts to composite for Stark's perceived inadequacies. For twenty years now, they've relied on one another, trusted one another, needed one another, shared almost every aspect of their lives with one another but Toni has never been able to accept something physical between them or say those three special words to her and if she could only share those two things, mostly everything else wouldn't matter. But if Toni can't admit to what they have and at least work on what's been holding her back from taking the last step, then she's just going to have to start getting used to not being able to monopolize Pepper's time.

Christ, if that damned reporter could see her now, fretting by herself and counting the minutes till she can run her out of the house, she'd have herself one hell of a tabloid story to tell.

Pepper waits out the final few minutes staring at the clock, anxious for it to read seven and at the moment that it does, she rips her hand from her head, slams her fist down onto the desk, and bolts to her feet. It's time to give the reporter the bum's rush and if Stark forgets her birthday one more damn time, she's going to go work for Hammer, she swears to god damn she'll go work for Hammer.

"Good morning Ms Everhart,"

JARVIS' announcement of her name, starts Christine out of her sound sleep and for a brief moment, she's confused. She blinks, trying to clear the fog of sleep from her mind and it does begin to slowly lift as she pushes herself up from the pillows but the splash of sun which hits her eyes when Toni's AI untints the windows, brings the memories from the night before, fully to the surface.

"The time is seven AM," he continues, "and the current temperature outside is twenty-two degrees Celsius with mostly clear skies."

"Celsius," she asks automatically.

"My apologies ma'am. Seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit."

Sitting up fully, Christine's confusion returns. She was in this room last night with Stark and knew that this was her ocean front home but in the daylight, the place looks more like a hotel room then a bedroom. The art above her head is standard corporate art, the linen is mass produced white cotton, and the mattress feels new. Even the furniture arrangement looks hotelish. The room is completely generic, there's nothing personal about it in the least. And Toni is of course long gone, her side of the bed has completely cold but Christine expected that part. Everyone who has ever publicly recounted their Stark bedroom romp, has said that it ended with Toni being gone and a creepy British voice waking them up. What she hadn't could on, was her cloths disappearing along with the billionaire. Maybe Stark's playing some kind of trick on her, like trying to get her to run around the place naked and looking for something to wear. She looks around a bit more carefully, hoping that she's missed something but other than the painfully bland and unassuming decor, the only other thing in the room is a few sheets of paper. Skimming through them, Christine finds that they're basically a transcript of the night before, complete with details like, 'Christine Everhart moans as Toni Stark bites her ear lobe'. Nearer to the end, the descriptors and dialogue get progressively more ridiculous but it does have all the question she asked and all the answers Toni gave. Surprisingly, Stark had been far more candid and open with Christine then she could have ever expected, the interview had gone spectacularly well and she'd gotten far more than she needed for her piece. The sex had been pretty good to and it only makes her mildly embarrassed to think of all the hickies, bites, and bruises, she let the playgirl leave on her body. All she really needs now, is to find some cloths, the room doesn't even have a rob she could throw on but before she can worry too much on the subject, Pepper storms into the room and lays a see-through wardrobe bag on the bed.

"Here are your cloths, Ms Everhart," Pepper says flatly, with a hint of menace in her voice. "Dry-cleaned and pressed. And there's a car waiting for you outside that'll take you wherever you want to go."

Christine rips open the bag and starts putting on her cloths. "You must be the infamous Pepper Potts," her voice is filled with humour, "all these years and Toni's stall has you picking up the dry-cleaning."

"This isn't an interview Miss Everhart," the redhead replies, "but I do anything and everything Ms Stark asks." Her smile turns caustic, "including, occasionally, taking out the trash."

The reporter doesn't miss a beat and replies with her own poison, "anything hmm?" Then after a moment of looking, "I'm assuming my underwear is a trophy now."

"I doubt that," Pepper's smile turns genuine, "I'm sure the recording is trophy enough."

Christine freezes in shock, her pants half pulled up, her eyes drawn to the transcript. Everything was recorded, that's how Toni got it down on paper so fast. She finishes pulling on her pants, hoping that it was Stark's computer that did all the work and not some weirdo. But the thought makes her stomach sink and she wonders, who else will get to see Toni dominate the fuck out of her, while she eggs Stark on.

"Will that be all," Pepper's smiling like a Cheshire cat. The one thing that always cheers the redhead up about this part of the job, is watching the realization sink into Toni's dates, that she has just as much leverage on them, as think they do on her. In fact, Stark usually has more.

Feeling the need to regain some sense of control, Christine clears her throat and asks in her most dismissive tone, "could you get me a coffee hun," she grins, trying to make the other woman feel servile, "black, one splenda."

"Will a sweet'n low do?"

"Yes that'll be fine," the reporter feels almost triumphant at having won back some dignity.

But the redhead's been at this for quiet a few years and is a whole lot more intelligent than this blonde bottom feeder. "Should I tell Ms Stark that you were please with the interview," she waits a half second for the reporter to process what she's asked before adding, "and should I tell her where to send your copy of the, *interview*? Vanity head office perhaps?"

Christie isn't sure how much of that threat is idle. "No thank you, got a transcript right here," she grabs the pages and shakes them at the other woman. "If you'll excuse me Ms Potts?" The reporter slips past the redhead and practically scurries out the door.

"Ginger attack dog indeed," she breaths to the empty room before turning and sauntering into the hall.

Happy saw the reporter's hasty escape and stands at the end of the hall waiting for his college, he looks mildly impressed. "Having some fun Pep," he asks, trying to suppress his chuckle.

"Of course not Mr Hogan," the redhead does nothing to hide how pleased she is with herself, "just explaining to the young lady, what my real station in life is." She comes to stand next to him, hands behind her back, and smiling down her nose at the door, "hmm. Seems she left without her coffee."

Her joy is making him grin, he likes seeing her happy and after a moment of shared amusement, he hands her a package, "happy birthday Pep."

"Aw, Happy," she beams at him as she takes the tackily wrapped gift, "at least someone remembered."

"Toni remembers."

"I bet you my gift she won't remember."

Happy continues smiling but shakes his head slightly at her comment.

Pepper tears open the wrapping paper with some zeal and finds that he's given her a picture of herself and Toni. But it's not just any random picture of them together, it's the first picture ever taken of them. Taken at Stark Headquarters when they were fifteen and eighteen years old but it's also not the common publicity photo the PR people took of them, it's a mug shot Toni ruined when they were doing Pepper's photo id. In fact, it's a flip book of every shot Toni ruined, at least two dozen pictures in all. They're of Pepper, standing obediently in centre frame but with Toni, jumping, running, leaning, kicking or poking into each picture. The young genius was nothing if not persistently irritating. Some of the photos might have been fine, if it weren't for Pepper braking out into laughter at her new friends antics. Looking at them, she can't help but think that they look so young, nor can she help but think about how much time has gone by since then.

"You two have gotten into a lot more trouble since then," Happy says while wearing a soft, reserved smile.

"Huh," Pepper grunts at him, "you mean she's gotten into trouble and I've been pulled along."

He hums dismissively, "I seem to remember a little redhead girl cheating on a final exam."

"Ya well. I was a kid," she counters.

"And getting caught picking flowers in a UK nature preserve."

"I didn't know it was illegal."

"And trying to pick up the Prime Minister of Finland's granddaughter while completely tipsy."

Pepper rolls her eyes at his teasing.

"Getting escorted out of a Kings game," he persists.

"Okay Happy. I get the idea," she sighs.

"Cancelling a defence contract, 'cause the leader of the committee called you little missy."

"Hey," she points at him, "I'll have you know, Toni refused to renegotiate that contract until he was replaced."

Happy nods, smiling a little brighter.

Pepper deflates, feeling somewhat at a loss, "what are you trying tell me here Happy."

"With the gift? I'm not trying to say anything Pep. I've been looking for the film for years."

"Where'd you find it," she leafs through the photos again.

"Maria had it in a time capsule," Happy's smile fads a little at the mention of his long dead friend. "You two are good for each other. You need one another."

The redhead doesn't take her eyes off the book, "what makes you say that?"

"If I tell you, are you going to super glue my seat-belt closed again?"

Her head snaps up, incensed at the accusation, "I was twenty!"

"Mhm," Happy smirks but answers anyway, "because you help her focus and she helps you with your tight assery."

"I am not a tight ass Harold!" she's nearly shouting and almost livid.

"Name one other person you know, whose etiquette teacher said they should learn to relax."

Pepper can only stare fish mouthed at his comment.

Happy grins down his nose at her, mimicking the redhead's earlier look.

"I have to get Toni going," she groans while throwing her hands up, "someone has to be the responsible one."

"Pep," he calls after her in a painfully gentle voice.

The redhead slows and turns to look at him but doesn't stop.

"It'd break her heart if you left."

Feeling as if he'd spied on her earlier thoughts, she fully turns to him, "What brought all this on Happy?"

He slips an envelope out of his pocket and hold it out to her, "I found it in the back seat."

Pepper takes it and sees that it's the job offer she'd received from AIM. She'd been lying to herself earlier about why she stays with Toni, AIM was offering to match whatever salary Stark gave her, which left her friend needing her as the only real reason for her to stay. At another time in her life, she'd have considered that reason enough but lately things were getting harder, Toni's behaviour was getting more erratic, they were bickering at each other more often, and they were spending more time in their own respective worlds. Their lives together was unravelling but not in any dramatic way. It was just that the little things she use to just shrug off, were getting intolerable. The situation was making her miserable and she suspects, it's making Toni despondent. Neither can live like this for much longer.

"Thank you Mr Hogan," she slips the letter into the photo album and turns away from Happy's crumbling features.

"She'd give anything to see you happy Pepper."

The redhead acts like she's ignoring him but inside, all the anger that's been building during the morning, turns into disparage. She feels like she's dyeing, she has to leave, has to quit. They've gotten stuck in their way of life and it's drowning both of them, it's making life unlivable. Maybe if she takes the job with AIM, she and Toni can redefine who they are to one another, maybe even reignite their friendship. Maybe if they have some distance between them, Toni will come to appreciate her more or maybe it'll make her need Pepper less and want her more. She doesn't really know but something has to change. At another time, she'd have dismissed the thought, she'd have said that she was happy with the way things were and that their friendship and working relationship was more than enough for her. But it's never been enough and it's never going to be. She and Toni were never really friends, they were always lovers who'd hadn't had sex yet. When Pepper use to think what they had was enough, she was really secretly thinking, it was enough for now, it was enough until she and Toni finally came together, until Toni finally let go of her fear, or whatever she was holding onto, and finally accepted what they had. But two decades is a long time to suffer through an almost relationship, it's a long time to watch the woman you're in love with, sleep with everyone else but you, and it's a long time to be treated like the most important person in the world but still be cut off from true intimacy. It's a very long time to hurt and hope. And as she walks down the stairs leading to Toni's workshop, she feels as though she is living in Pandora's jar, trapped with the last of the world's evils as her only company. Through the aluminium ceramic glass, Pepper can only see half of her friends body, the other half is jammed under the hood of some car. She takes a breath to steal herself to the impending confrontation and pushes open the door.

"Toni, why the hell didn't you sign these last night," Pepper questions, an edge of irritation to her voice and a stack of paper in her hand. The redhead's starting on the offensive, because it's best to just get straight to it with Antonia Stark.

Toni slips out from under the hood with a plastered smile on her face and starts wiping the lubricants off her hands. "Sorry Pep," she sniffs, her voice somewhat stuffy, "I was a little busy doing an interview last night."

All of Pepper's built up steal and anger, drain into a puddle at her feet. The completely believable smile on Toni's lips, isn't reaching her blood shot eyes. She's been crying and it's the first time in years that the redhead has seen her friend cry and there could only be one reason why. Toni was watching on the cameras, while she and Happy where talking.

"Your eye's are red," Pepper had meant it as a question but all she can do is state the obvious, as her heart cracks in sympathy.

"Oh," Toni wipes at her eyes with her sleeve, "it's this new lubricant, irritates the hell out of my sinuses."

The redhead thinks it sounds like a good lie but Stark's delivery of it sucked. "Could you sign these please," Pepper asks, even though she wants to ask something else, wants to question why her friend's been crying. She wants nothing more than to hear Toni confirm what Happy had said but she's stuck in the script she came up with for herself, to deal with this little confrontation.

"Sure," Toni replies and turns to a work trolly.

The redhead holds her pen out for the other woman to use but stiffens when she feels a pressure at her lower back. "You did *not* just put your oily hand on my suit," she snaps, all of her former anger returning.

Toni backs away, her eyes wide and hands held out in surrender but with a smile slowly spreading over her lips.

Pepper advances on the blacken handed woman, "this isn't funny Antonia."

"I'm sorry Pepper," her hands raise higher to emphasis her surrender, "JARVIS, find a replacement suit for Pepper and have it rushed to the office."

"Toni," her low, threatening, irate, drowns out the AI's response. "I don't want you to replace it! I want you to be more considerate."

"It was an accident!"

Pepper glares at Stark.

"JARVIS order three addition suits in Pepper's style."

"Toni," the redhead bellows, her irritation rising.

"Look," Toni tries again, "I'm really sorry. J, send an apology basket to Pepper's office."

Pepper gabs her finger at Stark, "I don't want an apology basket!"

"And book a spa appointment for her."

"Stop. Giving me. Stuff." Pepper stares Toni down. Her harden eyes stay locked on the other woman's for a few long moments before she puts the unsigned papers on the inventor's mess of a desk. "Just. Sign." She holds up a finger in warning, "and keep your hand to yourself."

Toni does what she's told and starts signing through the paperwork without even reading what they are first.

For something to take her mind of her aggravation, Pepper inspects the design schematic on Stark's computer screen. "Carbon nanotubes?" At the inventor's affirmative hum, she continues, "you should change the pressure differential on the extruder."

"Which side," intrigued, Toni stops to look.

"Positive on the extrusion side. It'll slow the process down and limit defects."

She goes back to signing, "the carbon is reacting to everything. It's like a frat party in there."

"Use colder carbon vapour."

The inventor stops again and stares into the screen, "well duh." She shakes her head, "sometimes I'm such an idiot. What would I do without you Pep."

"Starve to death."

Toni knows that Pepper's answer was made automatically and without her friend realizing what she'd just said but she replies honestly anyway, "probably."

"Would you finish already," the redhead says when she realizes that Stark has become distracted, "I'd like to be able to leave on time today."

"Wha'da'ya got, a hot date," Toni smirks.

"Just sign. You're already late for your flight."

"I own the plane Pep. By definition, I can't be late."

They fall into silence for moment. Toni can see that Pepper's more pissed off then she's ever been before. She's radiating animosity and it's obvious that an enormous fight is about to happen. Toni can usually tell when the other woman's about to snap and usually she can avoid her full on irate but Pepper isn't venting, she isn't saying anything, she's just staring. Toni's gone too far, which last night seemed like a good idea but right now, she's afraid of loosing her best friend complete.

She puts her head down and does what she's told. "All right Pep, hun," she tries to placate, "I'll sign, I'll get ready, and I'll leave."

"Alright," Pepper sighs, a measure of peace returning to her. "Thank you Toni."

The uneasy silence that hung around them moments before, turns terrible. It's heavy and clawing and ugly and feels like death. Toni would give anything to be able to go back and talk to herself last night, to tell herself that what she's wishing for, feels horrible but that's exactly why she should continue, they both need out of the horrible. And to make matters worse, it only takes a few minutes for her to finish. Truthfully, Toni hadn't meant to forget about the paperwork last night, she just had too much on her mind. And it's not like she needs to read anything Pepper gives her to sign, she trusts her friend completely. It was just inattention on the not-so-genius inventor's part, that saw them go ignored. That fact only adds to the oppressiveness of the silence as they move to shuffle up the stairs. They walk and carry themselves like they're being led to their execution. Toni climbs the stairs first and grabs the railing as she goes, sliding her hand along while she stomps up the steps. A half second later, Pepper's voice pierces her mind.

"Toni," she yells.

Toni jumps, genuinely startled by the volume and tone of her friends voice. "What," she spins to find the redhead holding up a grease stained hand.

"Don't. Touch. Anything. Else."

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't touch me," Pepper continues, her voice low and dangerous. "Don't touch the railing. Don't the walls. Don't touch your self."

"I'm sorry," Toni tries again. "JARVIS, make Pep employee of the month."

As the redhead huffs, the AI answers, "I'm sorry Ms Stark but Pepper is already employee of the month."

"I'm the employee of the month, almost every month Toni," Pepper's loosing her patience.

"And it's well deserved," Toni takes a step back from her friend's scowling face, "all right then. Give Pepper a five percent raise."

"Toni," the redhead begins threateningly, "stop giving me stuff and just be considerate."

"I said I was sorry."

"That's the problem Toni," she hides her pained expression behind her clean hand, "you're always sorry. You're generous, kind, and despite what I said, you are considerate. But always after the fact. You do things without thinking, then you have to clean up the mess you've made." She sighs, "I don't want to be the highest paid PA in the world," she flips her hand, "I *am* the highest paid PA in the world, I make more than most CEOs but all I really want, is for you to respect me Toni. I just want you to calm down."

"I do respect you Pepper. I need you," Toni swallows her nervousness.

"You need me too much Antonia."

They stare at one another for a moment, there's nothing more either of them can say, they're at a stalemate and they both know it. All Toni can do is turn and continue their silent death march to her room. They stay that way, silent and sombre, while Pepper lays out Stark's clothes and Toni scrubs her hands but the genius inventor can not stand the silence. She knows she should keep her mouth shut if she doesn't want to aggravate the redhead more but she just can't stay silent and she can't stand not knowing what Pepper's up to on the night of her birthday.

"So, who're you going out with tonight," she thinks the question is a shot in the dark but at least it's a statistically higher shot then most.

"Priscilla," Pepper answer's absentmindedly. She stares at Toni's very expensive, custom made, silk sheets and wondering how angry she really feels.

"Priscilla," Toni's scrubbing hard at her hands but the lubricant is just not coming off. "Priss from legal. How'd you get a date with Prissy, she won't even say hello to me."

"That's because she hates you Toni, you slept with her girlfriend. She hates you so much, that she has a calender in her office with all the dates you've done something to upset her, marked." The redhead squeezes her lips into a thin frown, "you know, what you do with people is your own business and I really don't mind. The only ones who get hurt, are the ones that are trying to get more out of you then you're willing to give. And you don't apologize for that and you don't mislead people." She sighs, "just please, keep it out of the office. Priscilla is the best attorney we have, she fends off more than her share of your law suits."

"You're not keeping out of the office," Toni tries to keep her tone light but there's an edge to her voice anyway.

Stark's words snap the last thread of decency Pepper has left in her. "Fine Toni, don't listen to me," she wipes her grease covered hand on her friends silk sheets but immediately feels bad for doing it.

"You know I don't like it when you have plans."

"I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday," the redhead feels a little lost, she can't believe what she's just done, she can't believe she'd been so petty.

"Oh? It's your birthday," Toni asks with mild surprise.

"Ya."

"I should get you something."

"You got me a dress."

Toni walks out of the bathroom, still trying to scrub her hands clean. "Is it nice?"

"Yes," Pepper nods, "it's nice."

"I should still get you something," she throws the towel on her powder desk.

Pepper shakes her head, "I don't want anything Toni."

"How about I send your parents to Paris. Will you accept that as your birthday gift?"

She smirks, slightly sad, "alright."

"And a five percent raise," Toni spins a finger up in the air.

As she helps her friend and boss into her custom air-conditioned suit, Pepper makes the decision to commit to her earlier thought, "I'm leaving Toni."

"Oh? Where are you headed off to."

"I mean, I'm leaving the company."

Toni only nods.

"I'm sorry Toni, it's just that," the redhead trails off.

"No, I understand. I'm hard to deal with, you don't have to feel guilty about abandoning me."

"I'm not abandoning Antonia," Pepper nearly shouts, her face tight with anger.

"Certainly s'oww'ns like you're abandoning SI," Toni flashes the other woman a smile, "think about it." She points to the hall, "can you get me the steal toed wingtips from the second guest room." She takes a breath, "I'll be gone for the next five days, so'oh, give it some'more thought without me around to aggravate ya."

Pepper sets the shoes on the ground for Toni to step into.

"How do I look," the inventor asks with a little flourish.

The redhead smirks, "tall," then takes a deep breath, "fine. I'll think about it." She starts putting concealer on the other woman's hands.

"There might be somewhere internal that you'd be happier with. There's always head of med tech."

"I've never even used my degree, I wouldn't be useful."

"It's not about the R and D Pep, it's about motivating others." Toni points at herself, "I've never been good at it but you are. Jeez, you practically run the company."

Pepper snorts, "there's no practical about it."

"No there isn't, is there," her voice is distant. Her soon to be former PA, pulls away from hiding the red blotch on her face where she usually rests her hand. "Am I ready to go?"

"Yeah," the redhead's voice is barely a whisper.

Toni hides the turmoil of her true feelings behind a smirk but she's made the decision, Ms Potts will no longer be her personal assistant. She has something else in mind but with Pep standing right in front of her, it'll have to wait and if her plan doesn't work, she'll fight tooth and nail to keep the redhead with the company. It'll work though, she knows there's no way Pepper Potts will refuse the offer she has in mind.

"Okay then," Toni says with forced lightness, "let us away Ms Potts." She makes a show of leaving her bedroom and moving for the front door. "JARVIS, Ms Potts has the house until I get back. Full access."

"Yes Ms Stark," after twenty years, the AI doesn't need to be told this, it's the operational norm. It's Stark's way of telling him that Pepper will take care of him if anything happens. Then, as soon as his creator and her friend are off the step, he locks the doors and closes the shutters.

Happy is waiting by the open door of the car. "Running a little late," he asks.

"Running very late," Pepper replies.

Toni waits until Happy takes the drivers seat before responding, "I'm only an hour late. That's hardly late. Not even fashionably late yet."

"Toni," the redhead says sternly, "why must you disrupt everyone else's schedule?"

"Happy, back me up here. An hour's not that late."

Happy glances at them through the rear-view mirror, "it's not that late Pep."

"Harold, you're a driver," Pepper asserts, "you have no concept of a proper scheduling. Whenever you arrive at a destination, it's on time."

"Harsh Pep," Toni shakes her head.

The silence filling the car presses down on them, suffocating them with tension.

"So, how did it go last night," Happy asks to break the oppressive moment.

"Oh," Toni doesn't turn away from staring out the window, "fine. She didn't ask any questions I didn't want to answer, she was good in bed, and she left without a fuss. Just the way I like'em."

"Good," he nods, "good. Hey Pep you got that big date with Priss tonight."

Pepper shakes her head sharply, "how do you know that."

"Hah, everyone's talking about it."

"They are," she questions, feeling a little distraught.

"Pepper," he says kindly, "you're going out with a woman who's done super model shoots."

"She has?" She turns to Stark, "Priscilla was a model?"

"Is Pep," Toni smirks, "is a model. She has this fashion designer friend who shoots her and she does shots for some law magazine thing."

Pepper shrinks in her seat, "this is a pity date."

"Cause it's your b'uthday," Toni sings. "Really Pep," she shakes her head, "*you* could be a model."

"For what," the redhead bursts, "the importance of wearing sunscreen." She glares into space as Stark sniggers and Happy coughs. "I look like a have chicken pocks when I get too much sun."

"I think it's cute. It's like your red hair's sprinkling magical freckle-y dust down onto your face."

Pepper eyes her friend with genuine distaste, "that was the worst cutesy explanation for freckles, I've ever heard."

"That's 'cause you're a ginger," Toni explains, "you were born without a funny bone."

"That's a soul Toni. Gingers are born without," she cuts her self off with a scoff and glares harder at Stark.

"Oh ya," she smiles, "I knew you guys were missing something," then sighs, "Pepper, she's going out with you because it's your birthday *and* because you're attractive. Don't over analyze and have fun."

Pepper leans her back against the door.

"And if the opportunity arises. Bed'er like the world's ending."

"Toni," Pepper chides, "that's terrible."

"Bed'er twice. Bed'er at the house and tell JARVIS to record ya's, so I can watch."

"This conversation is over," she turns to sit properly, head facing straight and ignoring her unrepentant friend.

"Shit," Toni flinches and nearly vaults into the front seat.

"What is it," Pepper strains to looks at what the other woman is doing and hopes something hasn't happened.

She flops back with a baggy in her hand, "I forgot to take mom's ring off," she slips it into the bag and hands it to the redhead, "take care of it will you?"

"Sure. I'll drop it at the house later."

The supposed genius runs her hand through her hair and pulls at it slightly, "fuck. I could've lost it." She sits back, mindlessly tapping the window with her fingernail. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's all right," Pepper pats Stark's leg, "you didn't, no harm done." She smiles a little, trying to be encouraging, "and you can't think of everything."

"It was on the list."

Pepper huffs. She knows there's no placating Toni right now, she wants to be angry and disappointed in herself for this minor slip up. The brilliant woman has always been like that, always very hard on herself for her perceived failures and lately, it seemed as if she was getting even harder on herself. Her parents were uncompromising perfectionists who were just as demanding on their daughter as they were on themselves. Not the first time and probably not the last either, Pepper changes her mind about leaving Toni, she really would fall apart without her.

"I'm staying," she sees Happy look up sharply at her.

"No you're not," Toni doesn't look away from the window, "I'll find something in house that'll make you happy."

"Toni..."

She cuts the redhead off, "no. When dad hired you, I doubt he planed on keeping you a PA for two decades."

"Your mom hired me."

"I've already got a few ideas and I'll work everything out while I'm in," Toni pauses as Pepper's statement finally gets processed. "Mom hired you?"

"Yes, Mrs Stark hired me," Pepper can see something turning in Toni's mind.

"It's true," Happy adds, "Maria hired Pepper. I picked her up from the airport that day."

"Mother couldn't hire a competent cleaning lady."

"Toni," Pepper sighs.

"Naw," Happy interrupts, "it's true. Maria Stark was a great many things. A good HR person," he purses his lips, "wasn't one of them. She usually hired the first person that came around. Got half the jewellery and art stolen once."

She hums and tries to ignore the way Stark is staring at her, "there wasn't anyone else there the day I was interviewed by Mr and Mrs Stark but I know at least twenty other people that were at the hotel were also waiting to be interviewed."

"My Mom," Toni finally says.

"Yes," Pepper nods.

"Hired you."

"Yes Toni."

"To be my personal assistant."

"Yes Toni," Pepper rubs her forehead as the stress builds, "your mother hired me to be your PA."

"At school. While paying for *your* school," Toni continues.

The redhead turns away from Stark to stare out the window. Pepper thought it was strange at the time too, to hire someone to be your teenaged daughter's assistant while you both attended university but then Rhodey happened and it seemed to make a bit more sense.

Toni's mind surges into analyze mode. Memories get reprocessed, impressions get recontextualized, and a thousand conversations are revisited. Her mind is reaching a conclusion, one that she's not really sure she likes. Not that it changes anything, in fact it reinforces her previous action plan, it's just that she doesn't like her parents continuing to lead her around by the ear. Death was supposed to put an end to that, even though it was one of the worst days of her life, it was supposed to make her life her own. A thought occurs to her.

"Happy," she asks, trying to sound nonchalant, "where you in on this at any point."

They pull into the small airport and Happy parks a few dozen feet from Stark's jet. "No. Maria didn't tell me anything."

"But you figured it out," Toni counters.

He turns to face her and nods, "yeah."

"And you didn't say anything."

"I'm sorry kiddo," he shrugs, "I thought it was best if you came to your own conclusions."

Toni half stands so she can get as close to him as possible and points a finger only millimetres from his eye, "I am really, really, upset with you right now." She drops back down, making the whole car shake, "JARVIS."

"Yes Ms Stark," he replies through the car's speaker phone.

"Pepper's acting CEO until I get back, standard proxies and whatever."

"Yes ma'am."

Toni doesn't wait for his reply before she launches herself out of the car and stomps toward the plane, leaving Pepper confused and Happy a little worried.

"That was a more controlled reaction then usual," Pepper watches Toni pull herself up the boarding stairs, taking three steps at a time. "What was that about anyway?"

"I'm sure we'll find out," Happy starts to drive away.

"I don't get it. Both her parents were pretty eccentric. Toni's pretty eccentric. Why does it matter to Toni so much if Mrs Stark hired me."

He shrugs, "what she get you for your birthday."

"She's sending my parents to Paris."

"Is that all?"

"Five percent pay raise," Pepper's not paying much attention to Happy, she too distracted by the argument starting between Toni and Rhodey.

"What's wrong with you," Rhodey blurts, blocking Toni from getting on the plane.

"I'm not in the mood James," she replies evenly.

"So, what, just because you tell me your not in a good mood and call me by my first name, I'm supposed to forget the fact that I've been waiting here for you for three hours."

"On or off Colonel Rhodes," she stares down at him, huffing from running up the stairs and from her anger.

Rhodey's not intimidated by her in the least, he learned a long time ago that her Alpha act was a lot less dangerous than her sarcasm. "What's your problem Antonia?"

Toni jams her finger into his chest, "one more person calls me by my full name..."

He cuts her off, "and what. You'll what." She doesn't answer, so he continues, "you better give me something good Toni 'cause I'm about ready to leave." Toni's staring right into his eyes, shifting from one to the other every few moments, and she's seething. She doesn't usually put her anger on display like this, usually she just become more sarcastic but right now, he thinks she might actually hit him.

"Pepper's not going to be my assistant anymore."


	3. Tipping The Vain, Vicarious living

**Summary:** On the flight to Afghanistan to test the Jericho, Toni is haunted by the past, supported by a few, and indulging in hedonism, all while fighting with the disparate sides of herself.

**Chapter Warning:** Chapter 3 contains non-graphic depictions of sex between two woman and heavily infers heterosexual sex. It also contains heavy alcohol consumption and implied alcoholism.

**Trigger warning:** Chapter 3 has an original character tricking Toni into taking medication, implies some employees are being paid to have sex, and implies group sex.

Heart's A Mess: Superheroes aren't made, they're damaged  
Chapter 3: Tipping The Vain, Vicarious living

"Pepper's not going to be my assistant anymore."

Rhodey stands in shock for a few seconds, whatever list of excuses he thought Toni would have, that wasn't one of them. When she'd first stomped her way up the sky stairs, he'd thought that she was angry, or at least pretending to be, just to deflect his own irate but in reality, he can see that his friend is scared witless. The realization causes him to deflate and sympathize and he soon recovers from his initial shock, his annoyance turning into concern, and moves away from the door, letting Stark by.

"Captain Hamasaki," Toni bellows as she stalks behind the bar, "wheels up," and gabs a bottle of Bourbon.

"You want to talk about it," Rhodey asks, trying to sound as kind and as caring as he possibly can.

"Why would I want to talk about it Rhodey," she slams the bottle down on the counter to punctuate her anger, "I haven't talked about it in twenty years! Why the hell would I want to start now." She slips out from behind the serving area and stalks toward the bedroom.

"It might help Toni," he walks after her but Stark slams the door in his face.

A tall, attract, brunette stewardess, careful steps around Rhodey to stand in front of the door to the aft berthing suite. "Excuse me Colonel," she says politely, then knocks, "Ms Stark, may I come in."

"No Sweets, I want to be left alone for a while," she replies, her voice muffled by the door.

"Very well, but I'll be right here if you need me."

Toni turns to the door, pulling the bottle out of her mouth as she does. "We're on a plane, where else would you be."

"Good point Toni," came the brunette's kindly and equally muffled reply.

The Inventor takes another swig and only barely screws her face, as the liquid burns its way down her throat. It's a hundred and sixty proof, and not her usual, 'straight from the bottle' fair but she's kinda in a bad mood and like always, it's her own damn fault. Her mother had hired Pepper, scoured the country to find Pepper, read through who knows how many hundreds of applications searching for Pepper, gone through scores of candidates looking for Pepper, and Toni remembers all those other candidates. A parade of interviewees who's resumes looked good and who passed the testing procedures, and who the staffers brought to wherever she was playing researcher, to introduce them to the daughter of their future employer. She'd seen a crap ton of teenaged men and women, all looking to score a scholarship that only had one stipulation, they had to be Antonia Stark's handler while being paid to attend MIT. Months of endless young, bright people, just starting collage or finishing high school, brimming with potential and promise, and who, Toni never saw or heard from again. Even before the parade, there'd been questionnaires, administered by a creepy middle-aged woman with big hair and too much makeup. She'd asked Toni a myriad of questions, such as, did she *truly know* what bisexual meant.

Pursing her lips, Toni stares into space and comes to the only conclusion she thinks is logical. It'd all been a thinly veiled cover, a front constructed by her mother so that she could operate a matchmaking program with the sole purpose of find her flighty, directionless daughter, a spouse. She shakes her head and nurses her bottle a little more, the evidence is endless. There's the fact that Pepper wasn't fired the moment her mother'd found out that the PA she hired, had allowed her fifteen year old daughter to sleep with an eighteen year old boy for seven months. There was the fact that Happy had been sent to put a handle on *both* Toni and Pepper. The fact that they didn't get in trouble for ditching school and visiting Pepper's parents for a week, or having given Happy the slip so that they could go to an expo. But the moment they did anything with someone else, they were lectured about concentrating on school. It was ridiculous but what was even more ridiculous, was that her mother had chosen so well. The woman who couldn't hire a house keeper that wouldn't steal them blind, or worse, found a freckly faced redhead who'd stayed by Toni for twenty years, despite the Inventor being an utterly self absorbed, pain in the ass.

It all proves Toni's theory, love is a disease, a mind killer, a state worse than boredom and it's unimaginable to her, that she could've been so clueless for all those twenty years. She takes another large swig, it'd all been staring her right in the face but her mom made a simple error when pairing them together. She'd forgotten to factor in her daughter's sense of self-loathing. Maybe her mother had been blind to the number of factors which contribute to that mindset, some of which she can't bring herself to fully recall but they all conspire to make Toni feel perpetually unworthy. Sometimes it's a useful feeling to carry around, because in one form, it makes her strive to create better and more useful things. But it also makes her feel as though she needs to protect Pepper from her more aberrant behaviours, like the fact that Toni ruins people's lives. She'd ruined Rhodey's life and by letting her mother's stalled plan continue, she's ruining Pepper's. The freckley faced woman deserves someone who'll engage her; not someone who needs the nitpicky parts of her life run for her; she deserves attention and devotion, not need and dependence, and she doesn't need someone as poisonous as Antonia Stark, leeching off her life and making her waste her years away.

It takes nearly a third of the bottle and eleven tears to leave the, 'I'm worthless' stage of depression and enter the resigned stage. It isn't all that hard for Toni to admit, she loves Pepper, she'd known that the first micro second they met but it's impossibly hard for her to admit that her friend might truly love her back. No one who really knows Toni Stark, could ever truly love her. She's just too different, too damaged. It's inconceivable that Pepper Potts could, *not* have an idea of what she'd be getting into. But that was obviously false, because the redhead had been around for two decades and even a brain dead monkey would know what they're in for by now. There's just no way that Pepper could possible be willing to accept Toni at face value, complete with all her faults and obsessions but she's stayed for twenty years. She's threatened to quit, god knows how many times, but never does. It's too much data conflicting with emotions, turning her thoughts into a cyclical mess, her mind fights the same set of 'for and against' arguments over and over again. She's supremely tired, like a lifetime of poor sleep and ceaseless ambition are finally catching up to her.

Randomly errant thoughts and fantasies of Pepper, insist themselves over her cyclical brain lock and part of herself wonders, how would it feel to kiss Pepper. The redhead's lips are by no means poutingly full but they're not thin lines of miscoloured skin either. They'd be insistent, she's sure of that, they'd be a wonderful taught swell, pressing in on her own overly shaped bow of flesh. Would Pepper bite, or would she barely pull Toni's bottom lip into her lovely mouth and nip, or would she suck and scrape and lick the pain into a frenzy. And what would Pepper want in return, is the fact that she hides her naturally pale pink flares of skin behind dark slashes of red, an indication that she'd be aggressively dominant, or is it a call for her beautiful mouth to be neatly attacked. But when Toni's mind turns to what kind of lover Pepper would be, its absolutely blank. She has no thoughts on that subject what so ever, mainly because she's spent the last twenty years drowning those thoughts in the company of others and diluting and subverting any impression she'd had of the redhead's preferences.

Somehow, the world is painfully dull, while at the same time being sharp and biting. Sight itself eats at Toni's eyes and she covers them to hide from the dangerous edges of the windows and furniture. She presses harshly into her lids, causing an explosion of dull kaleidoscoped shapes to dance in her blackened vision. She's decided to make Pepper CEO of Stark Industries and she knows the position will swallow the woman whole, but she'll love it. She'll love the control and power she'll have over thousands, she'll revel in the endless stream of nitpicky micromanaging required to command such a large shifting beast of a corporate entity, and she'll be absolutely orgasmic over crushing and poaching the competition. And she'll be too busy for Toni. They won't be connected by the ever present title of, 'Personal Assistant', it won't be necessary for Pepper to ask for Toni's permission or signature, and it'll mean utter loneliness for Antonia but it'll keep Pepper in her life, if only a shadowed version her.

Another mouthful of liquor and a long cooling breath and Toni's ready to sign away the, *thing* she never really wanted in the first place but has needed her entire life. She hates SI, despises having it partially control her life but she's beginning to feel more than a little despondent over the prospect of letting it go. It's been part of her life since the moment she was born, she's haunted the labs and ghosted the equipment but it's not like that'll end. Pepper will never lock her out of her own company but she might institute rules Toni wont like. But it doesn't matter, this is the best decision available and she's already made it, nothing is furthered by indulging in this depressive futuring.

With another long cooling breath, she suppresses and gets on with it. "JARVIS," she calls to her ever present AI, "could you phone Mr Phelps at Thaler and Thaler for me please."

"Certainly Ms Stark," he responds immediately. Part of him is installed on the plane's computer but he follows her wherever she goes, uploading himself into whatever system he needs to, so that he can always be available whenever his creator needs him. He's in her home, her phone, her cars, and anywhere where there's a camera, a microphone, and/or a speaker. "It'll take a moment to connect the call," he continues, "as I must route it through one of our satellites."

"That's fine J," Toni nods and swigs more Bourbon. It's a testament to how much of an alcoholic she's become, that as much as she dank in the last few minutes, she hasn't succumb to drunkenness. Or alcohol poisoning.

She continues her assault on the bottle as she waits for JARVIS, she's come to depend on him simply being available to her whenever she says his name and on the odd occasion when he can't be available, she nearly panics at his absence. He's as nitpicky as Pepper, he records her every word so that if some brilliant thing falls out of her mouth, it'll be available for later analysis, and he never lets her get away with being snippy. Toni needs his dry sarcastic manner, it keeps her mind active. And even if he's not sentient, although she questions that a lot, she tries to never treat the AI like a servant, he's as precious to her as his namesake was. She loves JARVIS more than any of her other creation, and she loves ever last one of her inorganic babies with all her heart, but he's special. She grew him from a couple of line of code, installed every autonomous subroutine she could find, and augmented him with her own brainwaves. He's her little star.

"Stark," Toni flinches as an overly cheerful, male voice, blares over the plane's intercom, "it's good to hear from you."

"Yes Mr Phelps, I'm sure it is." She takes another deep breath and frets and procrastinates longer then would be considered polite but Mr Phelps doesn't interrupt her silence. She continues a moment later, "I'd like to make Pepper, CEO of Stark Industries."

"Are you sure about that Toni," Phelps asks, genuine concern threading his voice.

"Very."

"Alright then," he clears his throat, "I'll make a note in the trust agreement. I'm assuming you phoned because you'd also like to change her salary."

"Yes. Uhm," Toni pauses, she hadn't given what Pepper's salary should be much thought.

Money really has very little meaning to the Inventor, she's always had more of it then she knows what to do with but for the redhead, even if her income didn't matter on a day to day basis, it would have a symbolic meaning to her and if it was too low, it'd be the worst insult Toni could throw at her.

"Ten mil," she thinks aloud. "Yeah, 10 mil base and I'll put through bonuses with SI."

"Of course Toni," Phelps replies just a little too joyously. "You know, your mother always assumed that you'd appoint Virginia as your CEO."

"Could we not talk about my mother right now Cole?"

"Sorry," the lawyer clears his throat again, "did you want to make any other changes to the Foundation's trust?"

The Maria Stark Foundation, Toni's mother's answer to continuing to manipulate her daughter's life, long after her death. "No Mr Phelps," she grumbles, "thank you."

"Hey, not a problem Ms Stark."

Toni sighs, Pepper and Happy are both paid through the Foundation and now, why they are, makes total sense. Before she'd assumed that her mother had set it up that way, so that if Toni ever threw a fit and fired them, they'd be taken care of. But now she knows, it's just one more piece of a jigsaw puzzle her mother'd left behind. The salary structure was her way of making sure that Pepper would never work directly for Toni and that Happy would never leave her. The Foundation has a few more people on its payroll but she has no idea who they are, her mother had also made sure that Toni would never get even a glimpse of the trust agreement.

"JARVIS, mia divo," she feels miserable but she still has a few more things to do before she can drink herself into oblivion and put this whole thing out of her mind.

"Yes Ms Stark."

"I'd like you to buy up all the lose stock for Pepper and call Sammy Russell please."

"One moment."

Toni swirls the liquid around in her bottle as her feelings of melancholy grow. "Have I ever told you how much you mean to me J?"

"Yes Ms Stark," the AI's voice almost sounds kindly, "you have."

"Legal," now it's Samantha who startles her.

"Ms Russell," Toni begins with strained politeness, "I'd like you to prepare the docs required to transfer control of SI to Ms Potts. And I'd also like her to have proxy over my share votes."

"May I ask why?"

"Why?" The Inventor parrots, slightly taken aback by the question. Normally she deals with Prissy, who'd almost never ask her about her motivations but with Pepper going out with her tonight, something might be said before she wants the other woman to known about her plans.

"Yes Stark, why," she answers slightly belligerently, "I was your dad's first retained attorney. I think I have the right to know why you'd just hand over his hard work to someone else."

Samantha's accusation is the last kick Toni needs to send herself spiralling into an abyss of full self recrimination. Now not only has she ruined Rhodey and Pepper's lives, she's abandoning her father's company to a non-relative.

"Would you rather I give the company to Morgan," the Inventor's voice is calm and measured but inside she's throwing a fit. "I didn't ask for dad's company and I certainly didn't ask for a gaggle of insubordinate, grandfathered in, employees."

"I apologize Ms Stark," the lawyer responds delicately, "I'll have the papers ready immediately."

She strangles the neck of her bottle in a death grip and wishes it would shatter. "I also want Pepper to have sale and market bonuses. Whatever Stane's getting, plus fifteen percent."

"Yes ma'am."

Toni's anger is starting to boil over the edges of her mind, she furious and she wants to brow beat this self righteous relic into the ground, wants to vent her frustrations out all over her *dad's* lawyer and feel good while doing it. She wants to undercut her mother's foundation's founding and drive it into the ground. She's rocking back and forth, shifting her weight from foot to foot, ready for a fight and if Happy was there, she'd strap on some boxing gloves and fight with him until one of them hit the ground.

"And miss Russell," she says carefully through clenched teeth, "this is to remain confidential."

"Yes Ms Stark," Samantha's voice sounds just as strained.

"Thank you, that'll be all."

Toni's guilt and frustration and anger, swirl in her mind and burns at her eyes. The stress of it squeezes at her chest and runs in uncomfortable waves over her scalp and shoulder. She wants out, she wants something. Her mind has been utterly empty of anything new for longer than she can remember, Jericho was the last thing to leave her workshop but that was months ago. She can feel her emotions wound tightly within her like a coil and the millisecond JARVIS cuts the line, part of the coil snaps, causing her to throw her half full bourbon bottle against the fuselage but bounces off completely undamaged. She wants to vent, she wanted the bottle to break but instead it careens directly into her knee, sending spikes of stabbing pain to mix with her anger and guilt. It releases the remaining tension in her body and drops her to her good knee but she doesn't curse, or cry out. She simply lets the pain twist at her face as she wails soundlessly into the comforter on the bed. The physical pain is nothing, she's done worse to her self in the workshop but her emotional agony is unbearable.

Her tears only fall for only few seconds, before Toni feels Sweets wrap her arms around her and pull her into a tight embrace. The suddenness of it causes her to flinch but the brunette's familiar smell of cinnamon and vanilla, immediately calms her. It's an old and comfortable scent, a scent with a memory, a scent that draws the Inventor to seek out the older woman's mouth. And Sweets' mouth is just as familiar as her perfume, the style and mode just as predictable. There's a kind of power in bedding someone new, a high that fills you and keeps you on edge but being with someone you know, with someone who's movements and caresses have remained practically unchanged for twenty years, can be utterly comforting, even if you don't love them. And as they move to the bed, Toni knows how it'll be, knows exactly what to expect when they take each others cloths off, and knows that when the release comes, it's not going to be earth shattering, it's not even going to be great but it'll be what she needs, predictable and familiar.

Their panting and hitched breaths mingle and synchronize, their bodies flow and thrust in rhythm, their tempo builds and surges, then finally, like the eye of a storm, they freeze, their breaths hold, their bodies still, their forces crush. Neither calls out the others name nor do either moan at the pleasure of it, the only sound comes from Toni's harsh exhale and Sweets' quiet sigh. They melt into one another and lay in silence for a few long moments. Toni shifts to curl up onto Sweets' side, the Inventor's head resting between the Brunettes breasts. Stark's fingers trace invisible lines over the other woman's skin, trying to avoid thought and even though the sex *has* brought her some calmed, her mind's still cycling uncomfortably.

Sweets has saved Toni from a mounting rage that she'd have no doubt taken out on Rhodey but she's also slipped back into feeling trapped and disconnected again. Anger might have been infinitely damaging, to herself and to the company, but expressing it, might have brought some change and she wouldn't have to feel like she's drowning in boredom. As usual though, Sweets breaks her thought processes before they can become destructive again and hands her small bakery box.

"Here," she says while flipping open the top, "I got you a cherry cheesecake eclair."

Toni's not really paying attention, doesn't even want to acknowledge that the world exists, she just takes the pastry without saying a word and bits into it. Most of the time, she'd at least say, 'thank you' but the events of the morning have stripped her of any incidental niceties. She's miserable, and obviously depressed, and utterly bereft of caring, and not even the combination of her two most favoured deserts in the world, can cheer her up in the slightest.

"I'm giving Pepper control of the company," Toni states after swallowing her second bite.

Sweets plays with the younger woman's hair in an attempt to soothe her, "what happened."

The Inventor shrugs, her head still on her human pillow, and finishes off her treat, "Pepper's getting tired of me. I have to give her something to keep her around."

"She'd never leave you Toni, she loves you."

"She yelled at me, said she was leaving."

The brunette huffs out a laugh, "what did you do to her?"

"The usual," Toni sighs, "ruined her cloths, didn't do what she asked, made her throw out my sex date."

"Hmm," Sweets hugs Stark a little closer, "you know," then kisses the top of her head, "you could just give her, her gifts next time."

"I told you before, that's not how it works."

"So you've said."

Toni growls and turn over onto her other side.

Sweets follows, pushes a pillow under Stark's chest and wraps her up in her arms, "has the way you feel about her changed?"

"No," the Inventor's voice is flat but her chest starts to flutter. "I love Pepper. No one has ever come close to how I feel about her." She rubs at her bangs, "she's everything to me and I just want her to be happy."

"I see," the Brunette nuzzles the nap of Stark's neck, "so then I guess you're right, Pepper's not very intelligent."

Toni tries to turn on Sweets but the brunette holds her in place. "Hey, fuck you Chelsea. She's a hell of a lot smarter than you are."

"I'm sorry Toni, I was under the impression that she was really quite stupid."

"What. The fuck. Gave you that impression."

"You making the decision as to weather or not she'd be happy in a relationship with you," Sweets replies, calm and dispassionately.

Toni settles back into the pillows, "I hate you."

"So you've said."

The Inventor pauses a moment, "I don't deserve her."

Sweets sighs, "Toni, do you even know what being deserving is or how to even qualify it."

"Is this the part where you tell me that the concept doesn't really exist."

"You might be incredibly intelligent Toni," the Brunette squeezes her a little, "but you're also really quite dumb."

"Thanks Sweets." Toni stretches, dissipating some of the built up tension in her body. "You dosed me, didn't you."

"M'hhm," The brunette hums.

"You know, you can just give me my meds, you don't need to hide it in my food. I'm not five."

"That's debatable at times."

Toni pulls the other woman closer and begins revelling in the comfort of contact.

"Toni," Sweets squeezes Stark a little tighter.

"Yeah," she breaths, her tension further loosening.

"Feeling better?"

Toni nods, "yeah. Kinda drifty." She turns to snuggle into the older woman's neck. "Everything ready for Rhodey?"

"Yes everything's ready. Would you like to get stared?"

"Yes." the Inventor rolls off the bed, "lets go. Sex waits for no man."

Sweets gathers up Stark's discarded suit.

"Mostly because women are the divine source of it," Toni slips on a t-shirt and an old pair of dress pants she's taken from the plane's dresser.

The Brunette begins pulling he stewardess' uniform back on.

"I am enchanted," the Inventor slips her socks and shoes back on, "I who once complained to the Cyprus-born goddess, whom I now beseech."

Dressed, and nearly back to the condition she was in when JARVIS let her into the bedroom, Sweets turns to Stark, a please smirk on her face, "Sappho Toni?"

"Oh, Immortal Aphrodite on the throne of many hues, child of Zeus and weaver of wiles", Toni voice is filled with gr endure. "I beg you, subdue not my spirit, my Queen, with pain and sorrow but come to me now. Be my ally and release me from my pain with everything my spirit longs to have fulfilled," she gives Sweets an iridescent smile.

The Brunette gives a softly smile back, "you need a new hobby."

"I do?"

"Yes," she nods, "you've got the playfully, erotically charming, pretty much down pat."

Toni grins like a particularly proud four year old, "one can always use more practice at such things."

"Mh'hm," Sweets matches Stark's grin with a smirk, "I'm sure Pepper would love to be the centre of some of that charm."

Her face falls, "I don't want to talk about Pep right now. Let's just go work on revealing some of Rhodey's tension."

"If that's what you want."

"It is," Toni heads for the door to the main compartment, "I was planning this all night."

Sweets continues past Rhodey and the other stewardesses to the forward crew compartment.

"Thank you Ms Candy," Toni calls after her while flopping ingraciously down into the plush recliner facing her friend.

Rhodey eyes her with no small amount of evil. "Three hours Toni," he says while holding out the corresponding number of fingers, then repeats in a breathy whisper, "three."

The Inventor looks up to Sweets, who's walked back to stand prim and proper before them, "Laphroaig please?"

She returns Stark's smile, "and for you Colonel Rhodes?"

"Nothing, thank you," Rhodey waves her away without taking his attention off Stark, still bristling with simmering anger, "you can't just drink beer or something."

"James," Toni shifts forward, leaning across the low table between them, "mia roso. Beer tastes like dear piss. Why would I ever want to drink that."

"And just how do you know how deer piss tastes."

The Inventor chuckles a little as she settles back, "wouldn't you like to know."

A semi uncomfortable silence falls between them as Sweets set Stark's drink on the table, the tension between the two friends is palpable but not oppressive. It's always like this when they're together, they always end up fighting or picking on one another but it's always Toni who repairs the damaged bridges between them. Sweets knows that Toni blames herself for whatever hardship falls between them, believes that it's her fault and Rhodey never, ever dissuade her of that belief. The man prefers her in an apologetic mood, uses her innate guilt to manipulate her and Toni lets him. She lets him because of a lifetime of being ignored and abandoned, she lets him because she thinks he'll leave her if she argues her innocents. Instead, she takes on all the blame to keep others happy and puts on an uncaring and nonchalant veneer to hide the fact that every word crushes her.

"Three hours," Rhodes reasserts, his irritation bubbling slightly.

"I'm sorry Rhodey," Toni shrugs, "I took someone home last night..."

"No kidding," he injects, his voice a twist of sarcasm and ice.

"But I didn't know about the award." When James looks at her like she's a moron, she continues, "Obi didn't tell me that you'd be presenting. I didn't even know you'd be there."

"Toni," he shakes his head, "why didn't you just accept the damn thing. And don't tell me it's because you lost tack of time, we both know that if it was a priority to you, you'd show up."

"The award was a joke James."

Rhodey looks away, shaking his head again.

"It is," Toni stabs the table with her finger. "Women in business awards? No, James. There's no, 'men in business' awards." She slumps into a deep slouch, "it's an insult. A way to pander to the politically correct while subjugating women to the sidelines." She leans forward again to stab the table with a measure of anger, "the StarkPhone out sold everyone else last year and yet whenever they talk about SI? It's always woman this and female that, it's never about the tech, it's never about our success. It's always, 'oh my god, a girl is doing man stuff'."

Sweets hides a smile, somewhat proud that her and Stark's talks, might actually be making a difference in convincing the otherwise confidant woman that, things are not always her fault.

"Toni, it's not like that..." Rhodes tries to comfort her but Stark cuts him off.

"Bullshit Rhodey. It's exactly like that." She sits back again, significantly more subdued. "If I had known you'd be presenting, I would've invited you along in ditching it."

"You could have just accepted the damn thing, smiled, and walked away."

"Not a chance in hell James," Toni nearly shouts. "I make a speech about my disdain for this crap, I get crucified in the news. I officially refuse it, then I have women's advocacy groups calling for boycotts and telling the media that I secretly want to be a man."

Sweats pride falls a little, the Inventor's anger is directed at making a statement on others' behalf, not at defending her own actions.

Rhodey leans forward, trying to catch Stark's hand, "Toni..."

"No," she interrupts and snatches her hand away. "I'm the fifth richest person on the world, but nobody knows that. You know why James?"

He shakes his head.

"Because all they ever say is, 'richest woman in the world'. Having two categories, one for women and one for everyone, isn't equality. It's segregation."

Rhodey stares a little blankly at her.

"James, mia roso," Toni reaches out to grasp his hands, pleading with her eyes "I love you. And if you can't understand why I'm angry," she shakes her head and looks away, "then no one will."

"I understand Antonia," he lies, then nods at her untouched drink, "I think I will have one of those."

"Excellent," Toni exclaims, returning to her flamboyant self.

Sweets places the already waiting glass in front of the Colonel and keeps the bottle on hand to refile their drinks later. Toni'd messaged her the night before with the game plan for today: get Rhodey drunk, or tipsy enough to lower his inhibitions, and have one of the cute girl ready to have sex with him. She'd chosen Bubbles, a young, attractive, chemical engineering student to seduce him but she waits until most of the bottle has been drunk, before sending Bubbles to sit in Toni's lap. She'd figured out a long time ago, that the Colonel is sexually excited by jealously and she's had the very curvy, dark skinned woman, drinking as well, so that she to would fit their mood. And just as predicted, as soon as the young woman drapes herself over Stark's chest, and kissed the Inventor sweetly on the temple, Rhodey's face hardens a little and throws back the rest of his drink.

"Toni," Rhodey continues the bickering they've been doing, "this uniform means a lot to me. Why d'yew have to disrespect it?"

"Look James," the Inventor counters gently, "it's not so much the military, although I maintain that they're stifling as hell, it's the fact that with your expertise in robotics, you could be doing so much more."

"I love a man in uniform," Bubbles interjects.

"Oh yeah," he smiles the question at her.

"Yeah," she grins brightly back. "What you do is so dangerous and brave and terrible but it has to be done." She leans toward him, showing off her cleavage, "and it takes a special man to do all those things and stay a good person."

Rhodey's practically beaming at her, didn't even look down her shirt when she offered him the view. It her words that he's completely enamoured by and it's making Stark slightly sick to her stomach.

"Mia passerotto," Toni tries to get his attention, "it's not about the bravery and the guts. It's about lusting for something that's been glorified."

"Tss," Rhodey scowls at her, "it's about serving my country."

"Yeah," Bubbles inserts herself again, "you're a real patriot, colonel Rhodes."

"Please," he smiles brightly, "call me Rhodey."

Toni feels like she's *really* going to be sick now and is starting to regret this whole setup and if Ms Curvy-Curve actually believes the nonsenses she spouting, the Inventor completely regrets giving her a contract.

"Oh'kay," the Inventor grunts with more than a little sing-song of, 'you're crazy', in her voice and pushes Bubbles off her lap, "if you're gonna be all stars and strips about this and *not* critically think about this whole issue? You can go cuddle with Colonel War-Machine over there."

Rhodey sputters and gawks at Stark but accepts the young woman into his arms, "what are you even talking about Toni."

She swipes her hand toward him and swallows down another glass, "never mind."

James is slightly detached from the caresses and cheek rubs he's getting from the woman on his lap, his too busy trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Antonia. She doesn't look particularly intoxicated, even though, glass for glass, she been drinking at least twice as much as he has. He doesn't even know where she can put all that booze. Sometimes, when Stark is particularly randy, she'll say that she has hollow boobs and that's where all the alcohol goes but joking aside, Toni's liver, *has* to look deep fired by now. For almost as long as he's known her, she's dank twice as much as everyone else. It actually concerns him.

"Aren't you worried about turning out like your parents," he gives voice to his concerns.

Toni ignores his real question, knocks back another half glass, and replies deliberately antagonistic, "what? You mean dead?"

"Toni," Rhodey whines and gapes at her. "Meant that they drank too much to. Why'd'ya have to turn everything into some'm nasty."

"Look, James, mia roso, I don't drink too much. I do everything too much," she sweeps her arms in a grandiose gesture, "I'm a glutton and I can never get enough of the finer things in life." She swallows down another glass full of her perpetually refiled scotch, "be they a delicious and mind freeing drink," she catches Sweets' hand as she refills her glass, "or beautiful and body pleasing people." She tips the glass into her mouth but doesn't swallow. Instead she pulls the brunette down into her and presses her alcohol filled mouth to the other woman's lips.

Watching his former, once-long-ago, girlfriend and her chief stewardess, go at one another, is more than a little bit of turn on for Rhodey but he's determined not to give into Antonia's little games. She does this to him all the time, gets him liquored up, throws a girl at him, and tries to get him aroused enough to give into the girl, who's obviously being paid to sleep with him. It's demeaning and it's insulting and it's really hard to ignore. Especially when Bubbles is nipping and liking at his ear and running her hands impatiently over his chest and jaw and when Toni and Sweets are kiss-drinking out of each others mouths. It's all utterly fake, a complete show for his benefit but when the Brunette slides her hand down the full length of her employer's body, presses and flutters her fingers against Toni's clothed sex, and gets the Inventor to make that crazy, desperate, breathless sound her remembers, he just can't help himself and turns to let his girl kiss him.

Toni's only distantly aware of the other two's changing rhythm, sometimes Sweets can be all encompassing and if the Inventor actually loved the woman, she'd be a great companion but Toni doesn't love her, not even a little. Sometimes that fact irritates her to absolutely no end. On one side she has Pepper, who she loves beyond reason but can't accept more than a somewhat detached friendship with and on the other, she has Sweets, someone she trusts, most defiantly needs, and finds attractive, but has almost no emotional attachment to. It's like her thoughts and emotions are completely disconnected from one another, existing independently and exerting disparate forces upon her body. She's closing her eyes and imagining the strong, independent, and infinitely cunning redhead in her lap, she's letting go of her mental disconnects and barriers, and she's allowing herself to be swept away by her delusional fantasy. But to do this with the person she actually wants, to open up and let herself fall into Pepper, seems utterly impossible. And herein lies one of the problems with taking her medication, while it makes her thoughts a lot more driven, it also makes her lamentations a lot more vivid.

Sweets has worked her hand under Toni's clothes and is touching the Inventor, skin to skin but very little of the Woman's demeanour has changed, she's still mostly detached and mostly moving automatically. Stark needs to let go, even if it's just a little.

"Do you want to call me Pepper's name," the Brunette whispers into Toni's ear.

"Not in front of Rhodey."

Sweets chuckles a little, "I think he's a little busy to notice."

Toni looks to the other couple and sees that Bubbles has gotten down on her knees and that Rhodey's head is tilted back in semi-rapture. She loves seeing her man happy, loves seeing her *former* man happy.

Sweets' lips are against Stark's ear and she whispers in a way that sends chills all the way down the Inventor's spin. "Close your eye's Antonia," she makes sure her breath only ghosts over the shell, "let go. Let yourself have what you want."

Toni looks into the other woman's eyes, "this isn't a therapy session, Ms Candy."

"It's always a therapy session, Ms Stark." She tangles her fingers in the Inventor's hair and pulls a little, "just do what I ask. Okay?"

Toni isn't given a chance to respond before Sweets presses their mouths together. It would be incredible if Pepper were actually here, teasing Rhodey and watching him get off, but the redhead would never-ever do something like this. Maybe if James was a woman. But the Redhead and Toni, have very different sexualities and somewhat different preferences and she'd have to give up this kind of thing if they were together. She'd have to give up a lot of things actually.

"Stop thinking," Sweets interrupts.

This is another of the biggest downsides of being on her meds, everything feels more vivid but she's never been able to climax, her thoughts are just to distracting to get excited enough.

"You're doing it to yourself Toni."

She's right, Toni sabotages everything she really wants. She over analyzes, over plans, or just plain does too many things at once. The alternative is to wallow in misery and half completed, disjointed thoughts. One way, she's feels alive but depressed and disconnected from herself. The other, she feels half asleep, resentful, and angry but detached enough from her own mind to actually enjoy something hedonistic. On meds, she's a fully functioning automaton, off them, she a dangerously damaged human being.

Rhodey and Bubbles have retreated to the bedroom and the other two stewardesses are paid not to care, effectively leaving Sweets and Toni alone. But Sweets can tell that Toni's body is winding down, the release she feels the Inventor has so desperately needed, is just not going to happen.

"Want to talk about it," Sweets asks as she reaches for a napkin.

Toni shrugs, her unreleased sexual tension curling in upon itself, "not sure what to say. It's basically the usual I guess."

"Maybe," she wraps the younger woman up in her arms.

"It's like I'm two people."

"It's called depersonalization disorder."

"I know what it's called," Toni interrupts, face and voice twisting with annoyance, "I'm not seventeen any more."

"Maybe not," Sweets counters, "but you still interrupt everyone, thinking that you've predicted what they're going to say."

"Fine," she huffs, "I'm sorry, please continue."

"Very convincing Toni."

"Can we not do this," she draws away so that she can look into Sweets eyes, "can you just tell me what you're thinking."

The brunette pulls Stark back under her chin as the noises of sex pierce through the bedroom partition, "you're experiencing the same condition but with the medication causing perceptual changes."

"You told me this before Counsellor Troi."

"Mhm. And did you do what I asked you to do." When Stark says nothing, Sweets continues, "that's what I thought. You're going to have to deal with your childhood and adolescence at some point."

"Mom hired Pepper to be my spouse," Toni says flatly.

"Really," Sweets is obviously disbelieving, "then wouldn't it make sense to at least try to work things out with her."

"I'm terrible at relationships. She's just better off without me," she lets out a dejected breath.

"Toni. You've only ever had one relationship in your entire life."

"Two."

The brunette shakes her head, "have you ever heard the phrase, you have to go threw a lot of dicks, before you can find the right one for you?"

"You're quoting South Park," Toni questions with a genuine measure of astonishment.

Sweets pulls away so that she can look the other woman in the eye. "Why not," she asks with a small smile but quickly sobers, "what makes you think that Maria hired Pepper to be your spouse"

"Before Pep was hired, mom, and or dad, had a match making consultant do a workup on me."

Sweets brow furrows, "how do you know she was a match maker."

"Please, Sweets," Toni's face is drawn in sarcastic lines, "I think when some old woman comes in and asks you a bunch of question on sexuality and friendship preferences, they're a match maker."

"Okay, so they asked a match maker to evaluate you," she concedes, "anything else?"

Toni sighs, why doesn't everyone just take her word on things. It's not like she hasn't gone over the evidence in her mind, Antonia Stark does not jump to conclusions. And with that thought, she recites out all the thoughts she's had since being told that her mother had hired Pepper. She tells Sweets about the pictures in a time capsule, the parade of candidates that were never seen again, how not one of them were more than a few years older than she was, about the aptitude test with way too many personal questions on it, the terms of Pepper's contract, her mother's reaction to the Rhodey incident, how her mother would look the other way when they did something crazy together but never when Toni did something with someone else, about the trust Foundation, Phelps reaction to Pepper being made CEO, and ending with Happy's reaction to her confrontation.

"Hmm," Sweets thinks for a moment, "those *are* a lot of odd little threads. But they might not actually add up to Maria trying to finding you a spouse."

"What else could it be," Toni counters while getting progressively more irritated at the continued denials.

"She could have wanted you to have a very close friend. Someone you could confide in."

"And the sexual question on the Apt-T?"

"You're a lot like your parents Antonia," Sweets says kindly, "Maria probably wanted to make sure they'd be comfortable with your, and their, life style."

"I don't have a life style Sweets," Toni's tone beginning to shade into anger, "and I certainly didn't at fifteen. I might have started a little young and I might have gotten into some sch'tupid situations but I didn't start ally catting around until Pepper became a permanent fixture in my life."

Sweets stares evenly into Stark's eyes.

The Inventor pushes at the other woman, "get the hell off," stands when she does, then stomps a few steps away while angrily rebuttoning her pants. "Don't look at me like I just made some grand revelation. I'm very well aware that at least thirty percent of my relationship problems are directly caused by my perpetual infatuation with Pepper Potts."

The brunette's stare doesn't relent.

"Oh shut up Chelsea," Toni fumes, "we're not discussing my inability to control my sex drive or my paralysing mental stasis with Pepper, we're discussing my mother's continued attempts to manipulate my life from beyond the grave."

"If your mother did intend for you and Pepper to get together," Sweets concedes, "then it's rather consistent with your family's behaviour."

"What are you talking about."

"Toni," she steps forward and takes the other woman's hand, "have you ever given anyone a gift, that didn't involve some elaborate trick."

"This is not the same thing," Toni asserts flatly.

"What would you have done if Maria told you why she hired Pepper."

"I would have told her exactly what I did when she sent Ms Schmucky McMatch-Maker at me," she folds her arms over her chest.

"I don't need any help mother," Sweets guesses.

Toni huffs and shakes her head, "this isn't getting us anywhere. It never does."

"I think it is."

"You would."

"I think you're getting to the point where you can't stand the way things are."

"I think I reached that point a long time ago," Toni looks at the bar, feeling entirely too sober for this conversation.

"Maybe," Sweets squeezes Stark's hand, "but I think you're at the point where you might start actually doing something about it. You just need a trigger."

"Careful," the Inventor gurgles with an evil giggle, "the plane might tear in half and make your prediction come true."

"How very morbid of you Toni."

"Meh," she shrugs, still grinning at her own humour, "I'm tha'da-kinda-girl."

"Mhm," Sweets counters.

"Yep," Toni affirms.

They continue to grin at one another, Stark's mood significantly improved and Sweets' happy that they've made at least some progress today. But the sound of a sharp cry from the aft, draws their attention and gaze.

Toni nods toward the bedroom, "wanna finish playing with Mr and Mrs Pork-a-bound back there?"

Sweets sniggers, "sure."

Turning to the other two stewardesses, who've been ignoring them the whole time, she asks, "either of you want to join."

They both shake their heads 'no', while the Blonde one replies, "if it's all right with you Ms Stark, I'd like to work on my thesis."

The Inventor shrugs, "your loose ladies."

Toni and Sweets quietly slip into the aft compartment and grin at the whirl-wind disaster of clothing and bed linen and at the two very involved bodies not taking the slightest bit of notice of them. After a moment, Sweets smiles a little wider at the scene and starts to strip off her uniform, as she slowly approaches the bed. Toni doesn't really want to join in, she's happy just to watch and witness one of her little orchestration play out. She's always been more of a voyeur then exhibitionist, despite what the media believes but Pepper really isn't either, she's more of an introvert and fairly uptight.

But mayhaps the lady doth protest too much.

Toni quarks an eyebrow and huffs at herself and her own ridicules thoughts, that fantasy's never gonna happen. It's about as likely to happen as Toni actually asking Pepper to joining her in living it.


End file.
